That day Melvin was in bad form. He tried to kick a goal and missed. Finally, he threw himself down on the bench and said, “Boy, I could kick myself.” The coach looked the other way. “Don’t bother,” he said, “you’d probably miss.”
kick a goal забить гол; bench скамья; boy черт, блин (выражение досады); could kick myself. Так бы и пнул самого себя; look the other way отвести взгляд, отвернуться, намеренно смотреть в другую сторону; Don’t bother. Не утруждай себя; you’d = you would; probably здесь: скорее всего