After seeing Sophia off, Constantin couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt.
“Maybe I was too harsh with her—”
On the other hand, they had known each other for only a day, and she had already scared off potential buyers. All because she couldn’t keep silent.
Trying to blow off steam, he took a brush and began to paint chaotic strokes on the canvas. He wasn’t painting anything specific, just improvising.
And he drank a lot. First, he emptied the whiskey, then moved on to white rum. When he could no longer hold the brush in his hands, Constantin flopped down on the couch where the exhibition had taken place and closed his eyes.
In the morning, his head was pounding, but that was trivial compared to the lingering feeling from yesterday’s parting with Sophia. He liked that headstrong girl. The way she boldly defended her viewpoint was captivating. Yet he, like a true egoist, couldn’t accept an opinion different from his own. What childishness.
For half the day, he couldn’t find peace. He didn’t have Sophia’s phone number, which meant the only way to apologize for his behavior was to head to the "Sleeping Dolphin."
The place wasn’t pleasant, although for a clinic it was ornate and tidy. During the times he came here, he wanted to run away. The patients were in their rooms – prisons. They only crossed paths during walks, but what always surprised him was that there were never any violent patients in this clinic. Either they were sent to other centers, or they felt much better here and weren’t in a hurry to leave.
Constantin approached the schedule desk and confirmed that Sophia was seeing patients today. Of course, no one gave him a referral, but for a box of chocolates and a promise to call, he managed to get the room number from the receptionist. Sometimes appearances helped, even though Constantin didn’t consider himself attractive. He inherited his mother’s Asian eyes and his father’s strong jawline. The mix of genes was evident.
Lost in thought about his roots, he didn’t notice when he bumped into someone familiar in the hallway.
“Costa!” the girl with an alien-like appearance and bleached eyebrows broke into a smile. “I’m so glad to see you! You haven’t written in a while.”
“Sayana, what's up?” Constantin hugged her and glanced at the identification bracelet on her wrist. “I’m not a patient here. I just came to see a doctor about a personal matter,” he said. “And you still haven’t asked to go home?”
“No. I wanted to, but anyway I wouldn’t have made it in time for my mom’s birthday. And you know how families aren’t too keen on having a schizophrenic around. They feel more at ease when I’m getting treatment, and I feel more at ease when they’re not jumping at every little thing I do,” the girl smirked.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. They still love you. Just give them time.”
“I’m afraid I might not have the patience for long waits,” Sayana said, laughing sadly and tilting her head to the side as if she were listening to someone else nearby.
He looked at her bluish face and noted that not much time had passed since their last meeting, but she appeared even more withdrawn. Her thin fingers awkwardly ran through her light hair, as if she were gathering the remnants of her femininity to “freshen up.” Her large eyes, once a beautiful shade of blue, had dulled and turned more gray. On the girl’s neck, there was a pattern resembling vitiligo, but since Sayana was very pale, the pattern barely caught the eye and resembled more of an unusual decoration than a flaw.
“I believe in you, Sayana,” he said, hugging her again. “Remember, all fears are just in our heads. People outside this hospital don’t know what you’ve been through. Play the role you like.”
“Thank you, Costa. It was great to see you! We’ll meet again.”
The girl slowly wandered off toward the cafeteria, and Constantin turned to the appropriate office.
“Costa?” Sophia stood in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest, raising an eyebrow.
“I allow her to call me that. We were treated together and became friends. May I come in?”
“Please, come in,” Sophia said, returning to the office and adjusting her already impeccably pressed lab coat as she sat in the chair. “How can I help you?”
“First of all, I’d like to apologize for yesterday,” Constantin began searching for the right words.
“No, I should be the one apologizing,” Sophia said, anxiously rubbing her hands together, mimicking human behavior when they’re upset. “I should have been more tactful and not meddled in things that aren’t my business. Besides, I really did like the painting.”
“Next time, I promise to behave more courteously,” Constantin smiled.
The heavy energy from his meeting with Sayana still lingered in the air, but he hadn’t come for that.
“Next time?” Sophia was surprised.
“If of course I haven’t scared you off,” Constantin hesitated. “I’d like to see you again, outside of this clinic.”
“Why not?” Sophia shrugged and he thought she seemed bored. “But this time I’ll choose the place for our meeting.”
“It’s settled then.” Constantin stood up to leave but suddenly remembered. “Can I have your number?”
“Of course. Is that why you came here?” she asked, dialing the number to call.
“Yes, I had to find some way to reach you, Sophia,” Constantin replied, feeling a bit shy.
The smartphone screen lit up with the precious call.
“Call me Sophie,” the girl smiled. “If you don’t mind, you can address me more casually.”
“Gladly,” he nodded and hurried to leave.
A week passed and Sophia still hadn’t called. Constantin waited patiently, comforting himself with thoughts that she had a lot of work. In the meantime, he painted and considered the concept for his next exhibition. He wrapped the painting of the twins in a blanket and stashed it in a distant corner, out of sight.
In the evenings, he met up with friends from the creative world. One of these friends invited him for a ride on a motorcycle to the waterfront. Constantin didn’t often use his iron steed. Perhaps it was due to the fear of getting carried away and losing track of speed, or maybe because he had made a promise to his parents long ago to sell it. But he never found the heart to part with his speedy friend.
Instead, he took him to a quiet enclosure behind the studio, away from onlookers. Now, as the cool sea air seeped through his helmet and filled his nostrils, he sped toward adventure, trying not to think about the girl for at least a couple of hours.
“Constantin!” his friend broke into a smile and waved.
“Hi, Max,” Constantin said, shaking his hand. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“How could I not? Good to see you, buddy,” Max said, turning to the two guys standing behind him. “Let me introduce you. This is Albert and Denis. They have their own photography studio.”
Constantin looked at them and nodded politely.
“What a cool motorcycle you have! The red paint looks bold,” Albert said, approaching the bike.
“And you can even control the navigation system without taking your hands off the handlebars!” Denis chimed in.
Constantin looked at the guys and smiled. Nothing took him back to childhood like toys, even if they were grown-up ones.
“Want to take a ride?” he offered.
“Of course! I’m driving,” Albert said, jumping onto the bike and putting on the helmet as he went.
“Alright, just don’t show off on the road,” Denis warned.
The guys sped off in a flash, while Van ordered a double espresso at a nearby café and returned to Max. He was a chubby guy of short stature, but he had a certain charisma that shone through at times. When Constantin was in the clinic, Max was the only one who didn’t pry into his personal life, never criticized or judged him. A priceless quality these days. And it was Max who had accidentally found Constantin on the floor that day.
“So, what are you up to now, my friend?” he asked, scratching his left eye. It seemed he just couldn’t get used to the contact lenses.
“You know me. I’m painting, spending long hours in the studio.”
“Sorry that I didn’t come to the exhibition. I was on a business trip. I hope you took photos of the paintings before selling them?” Max sighed sincerely.
Constantin always painted in one copy, so his paintings never lived in two places at once.
“Of course. I couldn’t leave you without news,” Constantin chuckled, lightly punching him in the shoulder. “By the way – speaking of news – I met someone.”
“Now that’s interesting. Who is she?” His friend immediately got to the point.
“You’ll laugh, but she’s my doctor. Not the best candidate for a relationship, I know.”
“Well, why not?” Max laughed. “Keep the most important things close at hand, as they say. It’ll be good for both the soul and the body.”
“You’re always joking,” Constantin replied, appreciating the tease.
While they chatted, time flew by, and the guys on the bike returned.
Denis jumped off the motorcycle like he’d been scalded, adjusting his curly, unruly hair as he went.
“I told you not to show off,” he scolded Albert, who, with a triumphant look, handed Constantin the helmet. “You almost made my heart jump out of my chest.”
“But it didn’t jump out,” his friend retorted. “Next time, don’t hold on to me like a girl.”
“What, like a girl? Oh, you!”
Denis kicked Albert and they engaged in a playful scuffle.
Constantin finished his invigorating coffee and went to toss the paper cup in the trash.
It was already quite dark on the waterfront and the streetlights had come on. This was his favorite time, when the sea, with its calm, barely noticeable waves, marked the end of the day. Turning his head toward the benches, he saw her.
The graceful silhouette of the girl stood out against the backdrop of the evening sunset.
She was sitting on the bench, reading something on her tablet while adjusting her hair, which the breeze was swirling around. A moment later, Sophia took a hairpin from the pocket of her gray blazer and neatly twisted her hair into a bun. She set the tablet aside and looked in Constantin's direction, as if expecting to see him there.
He approached her.
“What a coincidence.”
“For some reason, I’m not surprised, Constantin,” Sophia replied. “The evening waterfront is perfect for a stroll after a long day. Oh, right – you like to work after sunset.”
He looked at her and noticed her tired appearance. It seemed she had been quite busy.
“I didn’t want to bother you after our last meeting. But I must admit, it wasn’t easy,” he said, sitting down on the bench next to her.
“Why wasn’t it easy?” Ephor furrowed her brows.
“God, Sophie,” Libby rolled her eyes, settling down next to her on the railing. “When you’re human, it’s natural to feel things. Every event shapes your mood.”
“Right, I promised to call,” Ephor continued, not waiting for an answer from Van, who was staring at her. “So much work piled up. And complicated clinical cases at work. I’m sorry.”
“I understand. Every day feels like sitting on a powder keg,” Van tried to joke.
“Exactly,” she nodded, her voice devoid of laughter.
Sophia looked at him with her sapphire eyes, and Constantin noted that he had never seen such a shade before. They seemed to glow from within, giving her irises a vibrant brightness.
“But since we’ve run into each other, maybe we could take a walk?”
“Constantin!” the guys called out to him, interrupting the moment.
“Are your friends?” Sophia nodded toward the approaching guys.
“More like acquaintances. Let me introduce you to them.”
He stood up and gestured to the guys who had come over.
“This is Max, my old friend. And these are Albert and Denis. We just met today.”
“Not only did you buy yourself such a badass bike, but you also kept a beautiful girl hidden!” Albert exclaimed, shaking Sophia's hand warmly.
Something stirred inside Constantin.
“Nice to meet you,” she nodded. “I didn’t know you ride a motorcycle, too.”
“I don’t like to brag. Besides, it’s more of an occasional pastime than an everyday thing.”
“You’re downplaying your achievements,” Max waved him off. “In reality, he’s been saving diligently for his “steed.” This bike is a symbol of his determination. If Van wants something, he’ll put in maximum effort to get it.”
“Okay, enough,” Constantin said. “Guys, if you don’t mind, we’re going to take a walk.”
“Actually, it’s getting late,” Sophia glanced at her watch. “I’d like to get myself in shape before the weekend. But we’ll definitely call tomorrow and come up with something. Is that okay?”
Constantin looked at her, not hiding his disappointment, while the guys whistled suggestively. Or maybe it was Albert.
“Yeah, of course. Need a ride?”
“I drove here, thanks. So, we’ll stay in touch. Bye, guys. Have fun!”
Sophia walked down the promenade, leaving him to watch her go. Every time he thought he could spend a little more time with her, she slipped away.
“She’s a bombshell,” Albert said.
“Don’t be jealous,” Denis smirked and continued passionately talking about the fast ride with his friend.
Constantin wasn't listening to them. All evening he was troubled by his meeting with Sophia.
"Why did she look so exhausted? Is it really just work, or is something else bothering her?"
Returning to the studio, he thoughtfully started mixing paints. He tried to get the right proportions to achieve that very color, like her bottomless, large eyes.
He spent three hours on this, using a significant amount of oil paints, but barely managed to get close to the right shade.
The traitorous phone wouldn't stop ringing. Constantin opened his eyes, squinting against the bright sunlight, and picked up the receiver.
“Van?”
He sat up sharply in bed, trying to shake off the drowsiness.
“Sophie, hello.”
“Hi. Did I wake you?”
Constantin glanced at the clock.
"Two in the afternoon, seriously?"
“I lost track of time last night while working on my paintings, but it's all good. I'm glad to hear from you.”
“I wanted to ask, how do you feel about Thai cuisine? How about dinner together?”
“As you can probably tell, my appearance answers your question,” he laughed. His voice was still hoarse. “I'd love to.”
“Great! I'll send you the address. See you soon.”
“See you.”
Constantin leaned back on the bed and closed his eyes. Then he opened them again and stared at the ceiling. His mind gradually dispelled the sleepy haze, and he descended to the studio with coffee in hand.
Yesterday, being a captive of mental illness, he hadn’t paid much attention to what he was painting. It was more of a healing ritual and an attempt to distract himself than a serious approach to his work. But today, standing before the painting with a clear mind, Constantin thought it turned out rather well. He hadn’t managed to capture Sophia's eyes, but he painted the mist over the river. The veil above the blue surface of the river conveyed that very sapphire color. A female silhouette, in a long white shirt, with loose dark hair and a wreath in her hands, stepped along the riverbank. The longer Van looked at this girl, the more it seemed to him that she was the mist, or that the mist had created her.
He loved nature like that. In his time, Constantin was inspired by landscapes and the romance of villages, and this left an imprint on his heart, helping him to feel the pristine nature more sensitively. Perhaps that’s why, even during a panic attack, he painted what grounded him. Namely, nature and the color of tranquility, the color of her eyes.
At 6 PM, as agreed, Constantin arrived at the cooperative filled with numerous gastronomic spots and started looking for the name Sophia had sent him. The neon bright green sign read "YAY THAY." Across from it, hills stood like a natural wall, shielding them from the outside world, and above, hundreds of hanging lights had already lit up.
Even though there was still half an hour until the appointed time, the girl was already sitting confidently in a rattan chair, carefully studying the menu. She wore a black polo shirt and round black sunglasses.
“The evening promises to be fiery,” Constantin said, approaching her.
“Well, sometimes there's not enough spice,” the girl agreed, not catching his joke, and handed him the second menu. “What do you think of trying?”
“I’m old-fashioned. So, tom yum and Chang,” he said, not opening the menu. “What should I order for you?”
“I’ve already ordered – Pad Thai and coconut water.”
“Do you always come early?” Constantin asked.
“I value my time, but I really hate being late,” the girl replied, crossing her arms over her chest.
Sophia spoke casually and briefly, but for some reason, he liked it for the first time. Her cool demeanor seemed to stimulate Van, prompting him to study her more closely and get to her true inner world.
“When it comes to time, I'm impatient. I always feel like I could do more if I were more productive,” he continued.
Their order arrived, and while Constantin delved deeper into the topic, Sophia was already enjoying her meal.
“Every time people leave my exhibition, I think about how much more I still need to grow. Perhaps I haven't spent enough time improving the results of my work,” said Constantin.
“But you live only for creation. Isn't that enough?” Sophia replied.
“As long as there are negative reviews of my work, it's not enough,” Constantin shrugged.
“Why are you so calm?” Sophia asked. “Doesn’t it irritate you that some people don’t appreciate your paintings? They couldn’t even paint a single part of them, yet they still come to your exhibitions and leave negative comments.”
He paused to think. Did he feel irritation at the sight of the ignorant near his work? No.
“I can’t turn a detached skeptic into an art connoisseur,” Van shrugged. “But I can try to instill in him the idea that everything is art and has the right to exist. He may not find understanding in my paintings, but by listening to his favorite music, he’ll definitely get closer to my world without even realizing it.”
Sophia looked at him thoughtfully. For a split second, Constantin thought he saw a smile flicker across her lips. He could only guess whether it was a smile of solidarity or if he seemed ridiculous in his philosophical musings.
They spent the entire evening discussing various topics and taste preferences. It turned out they had a lot in common despite their different personalities.
Constantin unobtrusively studied her face, trying to memorize every line so he could later paint her portrait from memory.
While talking to him, Sophia occasionally glanced away and looked off into the distance over his shoulder. For a moment, it even seemed like someone was standing there.
Constantin glanced over his shoulder. At a nearby table, a couple was sitting together, sharing an ice cream and laughing loudly.
“Do you know them?” asked Van.
“No, I don’t think so. They just look so happy. Maybe it’s the ice cream,” Sophia replied with a smile.
“Or maybe it’s that they’re just good together. Everything else is just props.”
“But I’m definitely going to order some ice cream,” she said, waving to the waiter.