One day the thought of death comes to everyone. The thought that one day everything will end.
This thought also visited me and did not let go for a long time. Eventually, I got tired of it and wanted to stop these negative thoughts. But how? I didn't want to put them out of my mind, and I couldn't. I realized that the end is inevitable, and why not think more deeply, maybe I would understand something and accept everything as it is, throwing away all the negativity. Since these thoughts, which only brought inner apathy, became so intrusive, I came to the conclusion that the only way to get rid of them was to try to understand them logically, without resorting to emotions and any spiritual theories, prejudices, and the like (although I have trusted in God since childhood – it's a family thing), using only the real mind and simple human logic.
What do we have in the real world we live in? First of all – myself, secondly – my family and all the people on Earth, finally – the whole Earth and everything on it and in it, the cosmos and everything in it, and beyond that. And beyond the Earth and the cosmos, I don't know what there is. I only know that everything I have listed, that is, everything that exists and that I can realize, is material. There may be immaterial, but there is no evidence for that as we understand it.
All of the above comes from some reaction at some point. We humans are from humans, plants are from plants, planets are from other major planets, and so on. This is obvious to everyone today. But how did the first humans arise from whom all others arose? From apes? Or from aliens? How did the first animals arise? From their dinosaur ancestors? Insects, continents, planets – all came from something before, much before, and that which was much before also came from something. And that also came from something. And this chain can be continued endlessly. And it doesn't matter whether we originated from an ape or aliens, or whether we were created by a big mighty man. And the monkey and the aliens and the mighty man all came from somewhere, didn't they?
After all, even a microbe, even a molecule, even an atom, the most elementary particles known to mankind, somehow came into being. From nothing?
Even if there was nothing in the beginning, and if everything is from nothing, then nothing is material, and it also came from somewhere, or someone created it, so the chain is not closed.
But nothing is not material; nothing can come from nothing. Even the only thing that is infinite and eternal in our perception – time – is an illusion, that is, created by someone. For what is time? Time is motion. Stop everything around us, freeze everything, and time disappears. So it is not eternal, and it appeared somehow. Accordingly, time is impossible without space, just as motion is impossible without space. This shows that space is primary, it is material, so it did not appear by itself.
And it means that there could not always have been an atom, there could not have been an alien, a monkey, or a big man. Or could there have been somebody? And this is where the impasse comes in. It's clear that there's always something or someone that everything came from! This is the only correct answer.
However, it does not fit with the real perception of the world of most people and it does not fit with reality and modern scientific data. We are limited, so why is it that our insignificance and our limitation do not occur to us? The example of the above definition of time, which is eternal to human beings, but in reality is an illusion, makes our limitation obvious. It is necessary to realize that the seemingly impossible is possible.
I come to the conclusion that there is a Primary Source from which everything has come. There are two options, two ways of developing thought. The Primary Source is either nothing or some being that is always there.
Both must be either material or immaterial. And at this stage of thinking, this conclusion is obvious! Even though science has not generally arrived at it – it is obvious to any sane mind by the simple logic described above. But, if you think about it, both the first and second options actually lead to the same conclusion! And here I had a certain epiphany and even joy. Namely: Nothing is nothing, it is even impossible to explain it, and it is not worth it. After all, nothing is nothing in any sense (both material and non-material), it does not exist and has never existed, and there is nothing in it. And if someone comes out of nothing, it means that he created himself. He always exists, and everything that exists, everything that is, comes from him. He is the Original Source, so he is always there!
There is a Primary Source that created itself out of nothing! And here again, doubt arises! Could such a Great One, who is the Original Source of everything, come out of nowhere, out of nothing? After all, nothing is nothing. It does not exist and never has existed. And in that moment I realized that the truth is that the Primary Source is and always has been, He did not come out of nowhere – He is eternal. In essence, He is everything, everything that can exist, live, and be if you will. Time does not exist for Him, time exists only for us; and time and space and pain and pleasure – absolutely everything. For Him, there is only Him, everything else is His creation as if a man were to make something fictitious out of clay, and the reality, the truth, is completely different. It became obvious, but how it is possible, we cannot see with our human understanding, it is only possible to believe in it, realizing that it is so and no other way. There are no other options, all logical reflections lead to one end. There is the Primary Source of everything – He is eternal. How this is possible is beyond our comprehension, given by the Original Source Himself. We can only realize that it is so, even with our real earthly minds. All we are given is to believe what we have realized through logical reflection.
I have come to realize that there is a Primary Source that is always there, from which everything has come into being, including human beings; beyond the Primary Source there is nothing and there never has been anything. Because He is everything that has always been and will be, the Original, the Creator of everything. This is a logical inference, a realization that can be called faith, because there is no real proof in our understanding of all this, and there never will be unless the Original Source Himself wills it. This is the foundation of everything. Further, everything will be based on this conclusion.