All rights reserved.
Novel by Alexander Deev.
Cover and design by Sasha Lend.
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events are product of author's imagination or otherwise used fictitiously. None of the opinions expressed in the novel are opinions of the author. All opinions are opinions of the novel's characters.
Word by Author
The following story is a set of events that happened not so long ago. These events are known to me through the documents and the media files I acquired from an anonymous source. Those documents and files were used to create the written pieces that are the content of the novel. These pieces were intended to be as close to the documents acquired as possible. They precisely portray the events as these events happened. I also should note that as soon as I finished the novel, all initial sources were destroyed as it was my agreement with the giver. I also note that all names, dates, and other details able to help the identification of these events’ participants were altered to protect my source. The rest is true.
Oct, 29. Morning and Day. Private Audio Diary of Elise. by Elise
As I remember it, Martin was almost asleep, drifting in a smog of his dream. And it was a telephone call that made him totally awake. That part of his mind which was away from the real world entered the reality. Suddenly, shaken. While he was talking – unsteady hand, pressing an instrument to his ear – his face changed. That was something. Something on the other end of the line.
I worked for this doc film studio for a couple of years. We all here, or at least most of us, have some other jobs on the side. Our days it is not so easy to make your living making the non-fiction features. And for us, the industry does not provide a permanent current of orders and sales. TV channels big enough won’t pay for anything you do and won’t give you an order to do anything you can do.
Once, I decided to use the opportunity for such a job because for a young girl like me, without some highly positioned friends and relatives, and without a prominent inheritance, an occupation a bit closer to TV, or something that at least might seem to be a more creative kind of business, was more promising than some other opportunities I could choose from. Though, I am not a kind of person who at any given moment in one’s life is expecting the unbelievable to happen. To happen and to carry you away from the world of boring reality. But the bloody truth is that I as usually expected my next turn to be a little better than it was indeed. When you start dating someone, do not you expect this new person to be a little more interesting than your previous experiences? If you don’t, we are different. That’s for sure.
Me, I always seize an opportunity for a portion of sweet dreams about something better entering my life when beginning new relations with my new boyfriend. I’m not that kind of female who expects someone to marry her right on the spot and arrange the most perfect marriage ever with the most perfect kids, etc. Of course not. One may say I was not born in the nineteenth century. But maybe I hope for something that is more like an adventure. At least, one little adventure appearing out of the blue in a current of my ever boring life. And maybe he would be more fascinating than a usual person. A little smarter than the guys usually are. Just a little. And only then it all appears to be the same old crap. Nothing so special.
And maybe that is also the way I could feel about a new occupation. What if it is a new move forward? Something that can finally change my life previously scheduled with so many absolutely expected things to happen. My route in life and career was an endless line of different jobs which were so similar in meaning. I was extending the way of loser items on my employee list with things like the shop assistant and do-this-and-that girl. And I dreamed of traveling. To buy a ticket for an airplane and to take a place in a heavy machine ready to carry me and some hundred other people to another continent across the sea. And maybe I would like to be the only passenger who didn’t care to buy the return ticket.
In my dreams, I never saw someone like Leo DiCaprio or James Franco, but so many times I saw myself leaving my hometown on a giant aircraft. It is not that I don’t like handsome actors, just I didn’t see them in my dreams so often as the steel wings breaking the clouds of pure white in the sky of crystal blue. And no matter, if you want to see some international celebrity, maybe you will need to cross the ocean for a beginning.
As a schoolgirl, I always was the best at geography knowing all capitals of all countries, because in my younger years I found some fun in studying the maps. Subconsciously I just wanted to get away from here and as far as possible. Someday, somewhere to Latin America, Australia, any distant and beautiful destination.
But instead, I was here in the tiny room which was something between office and store. A place Martin, who de facto became my closest chief, called the studio. But the studio was not filled with the art. Not the pieces of Da Vinci, Monet, and Modigliani, but tons of papers, photos enfolded in the yellow and red document cases together with some features by Michael Moore belonged to its shelves, which stood across two longer walls of a rectangular room.
And right then, I found myself standing near Martin who was sitting behind his monitor having a face of a man who was just unexpectedly struck. Expression of weird shock, excitement, and astonishment blended was frozen in his eyes. Some few seconds before, he was just talking on the phone, and now it was a different kind of Martin in front of me. Whether it was this someone on the other end of the conversation who made him feel so or something else, I will never have a chance to know. I was still standing with some papers he asked me to bring in my hands watching him unconsciously. I pretended I did not notice anything I was not supposed to notice.
Here it is. I said and was going to show the diagrams of primal importance from the study he wanted to know about. But he was somewhere far away. And all Martin responded with was What? that he said in such unsure way that I didn’t know whether I should’ve continued unfolding a summary of research contents. Or maybe I should’ve just left a pack of sheets filled with figures and researcher explanations on his table and move away silently.
So… This showcase in view of the author actually explains why situation could take the form like this and to develop to the point when… I began slowly almost moved only by the inertia of my intention which previously was clear. But then I did not think it was a good time to talk on the subject. I’ll better explain you this a bit later. I said. He responded with a sigh coming from so far away. Yeah… And by saying this he still was staring somewhere through the wall, his eyes wide open. And I slid away to be absolutely forgotten for some hours until I would be needed again for some please-bring-me-this errand.
After some minutes he picked up the notebook and pencil and left the room. I spent the rest of the day reading some stuff which could turn to be useful for Martin’s next documentary film, drinking coffee and eating sandwiches. Alone. Thanks to my rapid metabolism which allows me to put as many sandwiches inside my stomach as I please, without thinking about what will happen to my skinny body constitution. Finally, it looks like I fished something out of this paper pile. Something that can be useful. And then satisfied, I went home.
This evening, I watched a couple of boring TV shows, read some book and spent some time dreaming about my future.
Recorded October 29, before going to bed. End of line.
Oct, 29. Morning. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
I still do not know what it really was. And I expect the absolute essence of happening to be never revealed to my poor mind. Was it luck or misfortune? I only can say it was unusual. Sitting in front of a monitor, I was trying to gather all pieces of supposed documentary feature into a single shape. My stomach was in process with the breakfast I ate an hour earlier, and my brains were processing the pieces of video and the writing stuff while trying to overcome a state of sleepiness. I asked Elise whether she could find and bring me a folder with some papers I wanted to see in addition to what I saw on display.
And then it came. The thing was falling out of the blue sky. My old-fashioned office phone rang, and I almost instinctively picked up the instrument while continuing to view the lines of text and the photos covering a surface of my computer’s monitor. That was the call of a lifetime.
I am a person who hardly perceives too many things emotionally. But about this matter… my thoughts and feelings mix in a turmoil state of mind I have. Currently, I try to finish my new work as fast as I can, no matter that indeed there were moments when I regarded it like the oeuvre. And at some moment I thought that maybe I shouldn’t hurry up too much, but to prepare the ground for it and wait for revelations and glimpses that should be developing momentum for the great work. I really don’t think it is a crazy idea to think about a doc film as about the piece of art. I mean, at least, such thing can be one in theory. So, I thought maybe it was better just to collect some material and to concentrate on the work mentally.
Just some days ago I was asked to do some job. And now I’m obliged to make a film on the topic that isn’t my primal interest. I say obliged, because I mean I didn’t want to do it, especially borrowing time from my project number one. I mean, that looks to me like wasting time. But that was the order from the company which is one of the very few clients asking for our production. That means that we really depend on them. That means we depend on their cramped audience and the soap, cola and bouillon cube advertisers. That means if we – first of all me as director and author – don’t make exactly what they ask for and when they ask, we’ll go out of the industry. And I will need to find some other job to do in the case.
And so, in a state like this, I receive The Call. And here comes the voice on the other side of the wire which shakes my life entirely. At the moment, I could not know it. I felt crazy and irritated from the very morning. But then I also sensed that this could be the most interesting.
A voice on the other end offered me to be provided with information of great importance. In the situation like that, there was too much of everything-for-you thing. And it was the voice itself that didn’t sound natural to me. It was like it was produced by some vocal synthesizer or was computer-effect masked. Early in our conversation, I started to feel that there had to be something wrong with it. And most probably, it seemed to be some crazy joke. Since the day the telephone was once introduced by Mr. Bell to humanity, there was always a part of this humanity that played in the way like this to entertain themselves with such a silly game.
And step by step, as one phrase was added after another, the thing felt strange. At some moment, it didn’t look funny at all, but really strange. Almost from the beginning, a guy who was on the other end of the line started to perform tricks that I am still not able to understand. He was telling me about things that no one except me could know. At least, I thought so before that moment. He was telling me about what I was doing yesterday and some days ago and also my numbers, passwords and all the most intimate data things. How can anybody know what I use to open my e-mail? I’ve been hacked or something.
Nobody could know that much about me. I hardly can say that I have any close friends of mine. And I don’t remember any stable personal relations – including these with women – in recent years. Now I think all this was done to make me agree to no matter what proposed. But when you propose to a journalist, a writer or any television man something really sensational, why would you play so much of a game then? Why almost threaten?
There are questions you can’t answer. Especially, when there are other people’s minds and the other people’s plans involved. So, all I know I should get to the place at a time fixed to be ready to receive some sensational material which should be revealed through media, the requirements provided. And it was stressed that I should never tell anybody about details of this meeting.
I was so shocked that for some instants it seemed to me I did not know what to do then. When indeed deep inside I knew, of course. And then I noticed I was watched by Elise. As I understand, I looked strange and astonished. Possibly a little weird. And she looked at me in some peculiar way. I just forgot what I asked her about before and why she was standing right then and there, catching me in a state like this. And finally, I was a little irritated about her. She was standing in front of me with her long unwashed hair hanging down. Gosh, why does not she try to be a little more of a woman? She is not that bad I should admit. Now I consider that subconsciously I chose to hire her among all of the opportunities – actually not a great variety of candidates – also because she had the most attractive looks. And she indeed can be a rather attractive girl. She is rather handsome. Sure she is. But maybe, some strange people like me tend to get together with other people who are a little strange too, somehow.
So, I cast an irritated glance at Elise after being not able to understand what she wanted from me. And then I rushed out of the room to prepare myself, alone, to get ready for the meeting that was so inevitable then. That seemed that the voice on the other end had the real power or either way represented it. So there were no ways out and no real escape then. Just wait for what will happen next. And just do what you can.
Some Notes on Documentary Films. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
I do not know how it happened this way, but now I am supposed to make two docs when initially all the strength of my poor troubled mind was directed to the embodiment of one movie only. This one movie had to be something about international industry giants, modern conglomerates that control so much of human lives around the globe. In contemporary reality, it is so common when two or three corporations have almost the entire control over the industry. And so, this way or the other, they do influence the world. They change it in a particular way.
And this film should’ve had some rather pathetic title like Towers of Power or Babel Towers or Power Incorporated or something else dealing with towers and powers.
Architecture is all about some symbols. Why does any corporation in the city desire to erect a new skyscraping tower higher than any other one did before? Why they want their office to be placed higher than all other offices? They really want to dominate no matter what. What a peculiar reincarnation of primal biological motives inside a system of the corporate machinery. They want to be bigger and wider than others more than they want profits. Profits are just their instrument to get bigger. That is their food of the gods. People want the profits, but corporations do not. They just want to get bigger, no matter what their so much respected shareholders want.
That is the thing I was initially interested in. That was supposed to be something with the POV and at the same time embracing the entire human race in its scales.
But they asked me to do something else. What a nice case it is! I just encountered an incorporated strength of the giants about whom I wanted to tell the world into a shape of the network on which I depend and which is in some way or the other is another dominion of another international multi-conglomerate.
The film I was told to make is supposed to be about prostitution. That is quite a hot topic our days with all of this disputed state legalization and the human smuggling from Eastern Europe. That is such a big world embracing many levels from the bottom of bordellos to the top luxury of pro escort ladies providing their services to the rich people from privileged society. Yes, the topic is not bad for a doc. But that was quite irritating to be forced to do what I did not intend to. And why me? There is such a variety of TV people who can do it. It is true that some of my investigating documentaries connected in their issue to politics and crime achieved some modest success, but that won’t help much in the matter.
When beginning a new thing ordered by the network, I would go through some usual dull ritual. I would call to one person representing them just to check out whether there are requirements about which I don’t know. But usually, I always know about all the requirements. And the truth is that in this way I just report to them that their order is received and will be executed.
So, I picked up the instrument and dialed the number to connect to someone whom I know and about whom I had never cared and who knows me and who had never cared about me too.
So, what things exactly do you want me to discuss in the film? I asked somewhere in the middle of a dull talk. There should be something interesting. Find and show it. Show it in diversity. I mean in different kinds of it, from a low side of it to the top of it where the big money flow. That was the answer I received. Go and get it from down to up, from left to right.
Oct, 29. Morning. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
The day when I was going to meet Mr. Shadow. At morning it was misty. Indeed, a mist covered an area for many blocks ahead from my place. As it was agreed, I was supposed to meet a stranger on the spot. Time and place set. I went to a corner where there were a few small shops and some cafe. There were a few people around. And in the fog like this, it even seemed that there were no people at all. I waited and then… I waited a little more. At some point, I began to think that I misunderstood the address or time. Or I thought it was some stupid joke indeed. And someone is cruelly laughing. Like I am still some insecure schoolboy. Actually, I felt quite nervous.
I tried to knock at the cafe window. No one seemed to be there too. I got no answer. But after several minutes more, I tried again. And that time, a person appeared. I mean a guy from a cafe. I tried to order some coffee. He tried to persuade me that they don’t serve anything until they open. Rules, you know. I argued a little. And after some few attempts, I achieved success. The cafe guy managed to bring me some coffee in a plastic mug.
I decided it was enough. I finish the coffee, I go home, and the joke is over. I finished but hesitated. Maybe the coffee was really good, and I asked for one more cup. It took some time. I drank this second one. And at that moment I was positive about going back home to have some nap.
I went in the direction to a bus stop. And then when I turned to another street and started walking in another direction, I suddenly recognized something strange with a corner of my eye. I turned back. And I saw that there was a strangely dressed person. It wasn’t an absolutely strange suit, but… He wore the gray coat and gray hat. The hat covered most of his face with a shadow.
I made a few unsure steps toward him. I stood there and almost tried to talk. I waited that he would talk first, probably. But instead… He just produced a wrap from under his coat. He held the folder in his hand for a while. I hesitated and then slowly I took the wrap from him. In all this mist he looked really like… Mr. Shadow. Like a guy from the comics strip who could be both the good and the evil. He didn’t say anything. He just made a silence gesture. He crossed a lower part of his face with his index finger. And I didn’t see his face. Just a sign of silence.
And in a mist, he was swept away by his quick sportsman-like stride. Now I am thinking about all this, and I don’t know what it really means to me.
It’s time to unwrap the mystery.
Oct, 30. Private Audio Diary of Elise. by Elise
Last night I had a strange dream. There was nothing strange about the images I received in it, but there was something strange about a feeling I had in it. And when I woke up, I felt uneasy for a while. I stood in the endless field of strawberries. Sun was high, the sky was blue, and there was nothing as the eye could see but strawberries. I felt I wanted to taste them. I reached out for the strawberries and took one. And then put it into my mouth. But that berry was tasteless. Disappointed, I took another one, but it also had no sweetness and no taste at all. Then suddenly, I understood that I was standing there in this endless field of strawberries being nude. I had no clothes on me and didn’t feel shame. And for an instant, I felt like I wanted it. And then the dream was over.
When I woke up, I wondered what my subconsciousness wanted to tell me. And is there any message to be read or it’s just another strange dream? My first thought was to take a morning shower. That had to be refreshing. I took my pajamas and my underwear off. Then I wondered why I did it in the bedroom, but not in the bathroom. For a couple of seconds or so, I stood undressed there, feeling myself like when meditating and then directed to the bathroom’s door. And the shower was refreshing and nice indeed. I felt like I entirely woke up after that.
Last evening Martin called me and told me he would be off the studio, said he would work in the field probably. And so, I arrived at the studio when it was past eleven o’clock. I spent some time sorting some useful files containing some useful information from folder to folder and ate another sandwich. After one and a half hour work, I decided that I would give myself a day vacation and maybe while walking through the city I would find a couple of new ideas for a new doc project nesting in my mind.
I went to a cinema to watch some rather mediocre but rather bearable Hollywood’s blockbuster. And also I entertained myself with a walk through the park and made some little shopping, as little money in my possession does not permit me more. That was not so freaking great, but that was not the worst day of my life. At home, I spent my day’s rest usually. A little of TV, some food, and some book. Right now I almost forgot to put my pajamas on. I wish myself the nice dreams.
Night, October 30. Going to bed, end of a line.
Oct, 30. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
As I woke up this day, I tried to prolong my late morning activities as much as possible. Maybe it was subconscious. Because as soon as I finished my breakfast and tooth brushing, I was supposed to face the dangerous wrap containing I did not know what. What if inside there was some bomb mechanism hidden? And there was indeed a bomb of some kind. And there is not a thing in the world that can stop a modern journalist from being curious. Or better say sensational. In my view, a modern journalist is always a greedy person. It is just a kind of greed that differs. A dishonest journalist is greedy for money, and honest is greedy for information. Maybe, being honest means choosing priorities and holding back some of your desires, most of all.
When the time comes to do it, all you can is to do it. I took the wrap. Opened it. Inside there was no bomb. Indeed there was one. But it was made of data explosive.
Inside it, there was a big envelope with a word Instructions printed on it in big letters in its center. And below it, in little letters, there was a recommendation. You better follow this. I took the envelope and saw that it was lying on the top of many other envelopes of smaller size. I tore the instructions envelope and inside I found a couple of pages with what indeed happened to be instructions on how I should receive the information. And it also said what can happen to me if I don’t do it in a recommended way. I don’t want to say what it was supposed to happen to me if I do it deliberately and without following the instructions, but the rest of it, in general, consisted of the order in which I should open an envelope after an envelope. And it actually said that I should not go to the next stage until I am not done completely with the current information from a current envelope. So, each envelope bore the number and sometimes a title too. I found one with the digit one printed on it. I tore it and inside I found nothing but the USB flash drive. I tapped some other envelopes, and it looked like inside there was also nothing but the similar flash drive sticks.
Well, that should be a little container for big secrets. What was there? I thought maybe there was some unbeatable computer virus which would kill my laptop’s digital sanity in a second as soon as I only launch the flash drive, no matter how strong my protection is. But the real virus of my life is not a digital one, but the virus of journalist’s curiosity. What am I in this game? Am I a cat or a mouse in it? And do you remember what killed the cat actually?
As I plugged a dangerous flash drive in, I was sitting and gazing at the window on my monitor like being paralyzed for a minute or so. In total there were two files. One was the text file and one – a video. The text file consisted of instructions about what I should do first. And one of the first things was about an interview with some girl. Her full contact information and address were listed in the file. And if to talk about the video file, I think that is such a thing about which it would be completely true to say that seeing is believing, because that is the thing which is hard to describe in plain words. Well, in general, I would say the video consisted of some sort of secretly made records that were full of… well… They were full of sex.
Some Notes on the Subject of Prostitution. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
Prostitution is a kind of human activity that is historically coined as the oldest profession in the world. But it is also true that many people still consider this activity to be absolutely unsuitable for the normal society. Many consider that thing should be out of decent society. They would prefer this profession to be in the shadow of the gray sector’s economy. To be a dark part of social life. This opinion survives our days, when in many European countries – and around the world too – the prostitution gained legal status. And at the same time when almost no one is concerned about existence and global flourishing of the commercial porn industry. That is possible to note that in between the porn production and the prostitution there is a huge difference. At least that is what many people do believe. But is it really so? At least is it such a big difference across the entire range of comparison? What I mean… I mean that we may say that a porn actress may choose more. She can choose not to participate in a porn movie. She can choose it if she thinks there is something she does not want to do and if there is someone with whom she does not want to do this. Or there are both these obstacles together. Also, it is true that hardly many porn stars list too many requirements from their side. Actually, it seems that a modern pornography feature – or something like a short video – is done in the very obscure frameworks, bearing not a lot of limitations, if it has any at all. So, most of the porn stars seem quite ready to perform everything they may be asked to perform. For a porn star, a video audience is the final consumer of a product. For a prostitute, it is a certain person with certain wishes. Well… at least, in theory. The difference between the real sex and the video is that a video should present as much as possible to make a person kinky and excited. When in reality all of that may be not needed that much. Though, of course, it varies. So, that is why a porn star may do everything for money, just to stay in business. If she asks for requirements, she may find herself to be not that much wanted for this specific kind of job. And also, at least, the VIP escort girls charge more than a regular porn star for one hour. I mean the porn stars do not always earn more cash.
To expand this idea – I had heard from one of my acquaintances, who is definitely more informed about the matter than me, that there are the escort girls who won’t do absolutely anything you ask. They do have the requirements. And they may simply inform you on that before you start to do anything. And most probably, that will be noted in the advertisement. In some part that can be called, uh, resume. That is how I suppose everything except the photos in the ad can be called. And also if a girl receives the clients privately at her place, she may theoretically choose people to whom she opens the private door. In this case, she may note in her advertisement that she has some face control. There is nothing to talk about forced prostitution, or about that kind of it that just comes from the severe poverty. It is an evident evil, but it is different when one chooses it consciously like when someone starts participating the porn production also without an external pressure but just having both the opportunity and the wish. Or at least having no reasons against this way of earning money.
Laws against prostitution are based on some moral code probably in bigger extent than on anything else. The stealing is immoral, but is there a law against it only because of its moral quality? Laws in the modern rational world are actually a system of governmental rule, but indeed they are part of economic one, because the economy, better say money, is what everyone including govt people is worried about. On the economic side, stealing is not good because when someone steals, he gets benefits not giving to society. It is a bad thing because it is not a fair exchange and there is nothing to do with morals. And a fair exchange is the principal element and also the symbol of contemporary democracy. Ten Commandments are not important that much anymore. Instead, we have one major one – Thou Shalt Exchange Fairly. And do it as much as possible. And that is why the stealing is not good. One should not take when he gives nothing. That is the very principal rule of capitalism. But prostitution is not stealing, it is an exchange, and in a legal mode, it is not a forced activity.
And is it true that prostitution should not be legal only due to some specific moral code of society that allows so many other things to happen, but cannot tolerate one item more? Or maybe it is just a question of official position. The government doesn’t want to lose the support of the conservative part of society. When on the other side, they also won’t issue laws that will be very severe to prostitutes. And frankly speaking, I almost sure that almost in any parliament there are enough of men – and possibly women too – who did not avoid an option provided by the elite escort call girls. And also there is a known case that explains the conventionality of the thing. It was in California. One nimble entrepreneur benefited from the porn studio where clients paid to be filmed. There were the rooms and the girls in the rooms who were contracted as actresses. And if some guy paid money, he could spend an hour in the room with a girl while it all was filmed on a camera placed in there. After that, a guy received a private copy for himself. So actually, it was nothing but another bordello, just with a particular option of filming the process. So, is it just a matter of calling the things with the names? Is it so important for authorities to have a legal but unjust reason to say that they don’t support and promote such things?
And what would we say about girls who are indeed nothing but the latent prostitutes? Those girls who live with the men they maybe do not like at all, but who get laid with them just for the financial benefits of a mutual living. Are they better than the escort girls? Are they better only because they probably take more money and things for one night and have less of the sexual intercourse? At least, the escort girls name the certain prices for certain services. In this regard, they do not cheat themselves and the people around. A significant difference between the latent prostitutes and those who are called the prostitutes is in quantities of the money and the sexual acts they have, together with the option of pretending to be a regular person. Imagine some guy at a luxurious party telling his friends that this girl with him is his girlfriend and it doesn’t matter that she sleeps with him only because of his money. Nonsense! The escort girls may pretend an orgasm in exchange for money, but not being your girlfriend. Why pretending is so important in our society?
Prostitution coexisted alongside with the different moral codes in a variety of national cultures through the ages. In some cultures, there was a tradition coined by historians as the sacred prostitution. That means the girls who served in the temples could provide their bodies to the worshipers as some kind of sacred medium for connection to the divinity and also earn some offerings for the temple of their goddess. For example, as considered it was a common thing for Aphrodite’s temple in Corinth. But why then in so many ages the society did not find a proper place for this kind of activity?
In 1949, the United Nations issued a convention against prostitution, but to a current day, it is less than the hundred countries of the world that ratified it. And a list of those who refused to sign it includes the US, Germany, and many others. On the other side, there are still a few countries that legalized the matter taking it under control, like any other kind of business.
The Netherlands is the country especially famous for its liberal attitude towards everything. But the truth is that in the Netherlands the legal industry of prostitution has a value of something like 800 million dollars when in Switzerland a similar legalized sector of the economy has an estimation of approximately 3.5 billion dollars. And that means even a more significant disproportion when comparing the outcomes of industry per capita as Switzerland is less populated than the Netherlands. Not saying, that Germany’s legal sector is over 18 billion. And it is not saying about estimations of the illegal sectors in some other countries that are even more than that. All the world value both legal and illegal is stated by some sources to be around 185 billion dollars. The problem is that the governments of the world cannot stop this and that means that a considerable portion of this money comes into the hands of criminal syndicates around the globe. And that is very easy to suggest that this money is used for the people smuggling, drugs trafficking, and buying weapons.
Who wins in this war? And why the governments let these huge sums flow out of their views? And what if our society is somehow based on the lies more than on the true facts? But maybe, this antagonism between a big part of the society and the prostitution industry is somehow based on something that cannot be erased from the genes of humanity? Maybe there is something that keeps this latent conflict on the stage, no matter what? As usual, there are still more questions than answers to be found.
Oct, 31. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
Then it was time to find the girl. Actually, I already knew a big lot about her from a file. Pile of data telling what her height and weight are, and what her other physical measurements are. Also, I knew where she works, what company had hired her, what her career was and what her career is, and there was also a little on what her career can be in future. I knew about her parents and origins in general. I knew, of course, all of her contact data including address and phone number. And there also was a lot of other stuff about her of smaller interest. But maybe it is just my old-fashioned journalist’s habit – to find at least more than one source on the same subject, to have it a little in stereo.
When you try to find someone’s traces on the web, and for this purpose, you start going through social networks, you can easily find a lot of people with the same name. Especially if this name is not a rare one, as it was in my case. But to be able to find the actual social pages of Sue – or Susan, that is her first name – I just filled in a little more specific information including education, age, and hometown. And that was not indeed that hard after all. To my disappointment – or was it a disappointment? – social pages did not prove to be a comprehensive source on her, as she rarely used them. Me, I think if someone does not use the social media too much, then there can be two most common explanations. First is that for this person, a computer is not his or her pet friend. And second is that real life is too bright for this person and then there is no need for a virtual living that much.
And in general, I found not a lot of new facts. And most of what I found was only a confirmation of some info from the file. And on the web, there was just a little part of data on her if compared to the file. There was only one little peculiar thing to add to her image. She once posed as Playboy magazine model. And of course, I could not stand the temptation to find the photo shoot on one of the internet pages. I had experienced only a little weak thought telling me that it was possibly not a correct thing to do. To try to know how a person looks without clothes just before you are going to meet her. But that little thought was weak for sure, and it vanished earlier than I was able to recognize it. In the end, she knew what she was doing. To pose nude for a periodical issue means that some other people will be able to see it, I suppose. Her photo shoot appeared in one of the Latin American editions. She gained a desirable title of Playmate of the month. The photo shoot itself was quite a usual one for this sort of magazines. The sunny ocean side served as location. And the girl was barely nude on almost all of the photographs. On some photographs, she had white jeans on. The best photo was probably that one where her silhouette stood against the sunset so that she presented something like some statue on the background of the scarlet sky. On this picture, her figure was dark against the sun. And she stretched herself up like some strangely beautiful plant. Was it sexy? Yes, for sure. There was also something like a mixture of interview and personal data. Personal data was a usual data, of course. Height, weight, and the size of her breasts. Plus she answered some questions. All it was written in Spanish and my knowledge of this language to which Cervantes and Lope de Vega belonged is quite limited. Despite this fact, with use of a web translator, I got information in general. There was nothing that seemed to be very useful, only some specific facts of her bio and some her particular preferences. For example, she said that once she was deeply in love with a woman and also that she adores her ex-boyfriends and she is crazy about oral sex. That all did not contribute to her personal image too much but probably had some effect on me. Probably that was just because a girl is pretty and that is the thing which usually influences the perception of a lonely man.
Well… I had some summary on her, but could not imagine what she would be in reality. I knew that she is a pretty blonde girl. She is baby-faced. Though not too much. Childish smile, beautiful breasts, thin waist. And she is not tall. Also, she had a few little tattoos. And one of them, for example, presented a name Lolita written in some old typewriter letters on the side of her palm. And also it looked like she prefers to be considered sexy, imaginative and probably even a little kinky. I mean, she is a girl who cares about what people think about her looks. And perhaps she just wants the people to think about her looks. In our days, physical exhibitionism is not enough for people. They would also like to take off mentally. But all that did not tell me what she was indeed.
After completing a brief profile, I went outside to search for more details in the field. The simplest way to find out more was to see the girl sometime after her working hours and at the same time to see what place where she is employed looks like. I didn’t want to encounter her at her apartment’s door, because I believe that the people, when they meet you for the first time, are more collaborative in public places, but less in their private place or near it. So, this way there could be more chances to fix a possible interview. I am involved in quite a strange matter now. And so, I need to know her side of the story as she is one of the principals in it.
As I arrived at the place, I encountered another tower of power. It was a tall glass-and-stone building, where another mighty faceless corporation nested. And somewhere in between a tenth and a fifteenth floor, a blonde girl with a pretty face was executing her primitive tasks as one of the thousands of office employees, who were placed on an almost lowest grade of career pyramid and who spend usual 38 hours a week for the sake of the firm’s existence. My first idea was to go the easiest way. At the reception desk, I gave a name and occupation of the person I was searching for. I simply asked whether I could talk to her. To my surprise, I did not get what I wanted. A girl at reception was not able to find anyone with this name. She told me, in case I had no appointment, I better had to go off.
It was almost the end of a working day, and five minutes after a reception desk proved to be useless, I stood outside, thinking how I would try to find her next time. Then suddenly, I recognized something with the corner of my eye, and that was something that seemed subconsciously important. It was a girl. It was the girl, and she was walking toward me. I saw a face which was now so much familiar to me. She walked past me, and I turned, watching her back for an instant. Then I hurriedly cast a name Susan from behind her, but a girl did not turn around and kept going away. I was almost disappointed and almost ready to run for her. After an instant more, I almost screamed Sue in one desperate syllable. She turned back and looked at me without big puzzlement. I made a step forward, and she suddenly smiled her childish smile.
I think I would like to talk to you. I told her. Then I explained that I am a journalist and I make some film and if she doesn’t see any problem with it, I would like to interview her. She agreed almost immediately, and we fixed when and where we would meet. When I was going to bed this day, I didn’t think about problems concerning current documentary filmmaking, but mostly about how the girl, who wasn’t exactly perfect and maybe didn’t look entirely like a superwoman from the Hollywood blockbuster, was indeed very pretty. She was indeed nicely pretty when even all of her clothes were on.
Nov, 2. Morning and Day. Private Audio Diary of Elise. by Elise
That was the day when I did not want to go somewhere and to do something. Maybe I just felt melancholic, and so, it was a feeling that all I could do today was to be lazy or to be sleepy. Actually, it was supposed to be vacant. But a day before, Martin asked me to appear at the studio to provide some help. He said there was something he would like me to watch with him together. He said he was not quite sure about what it was on the video record he had.
When I arrived at the studio, Martin did not wait until I would prepare another cup of coffee for myself. He asked me to come closer to his monitor. What he had shown to me was some security kind of footage. Black-and-white video with a viewpoint a little from above. You can’t see faces in general, and you don’t hear any sound because actually, there is no any sound. As it looked, a location was some office. That was a usual office. And footage represented some very long – as I could judge by the timeline of player – combination of some episodes of a usual office life featuring mostly two girls. As it was evident by their clothing and figures, that were the same two girls almost in every part of the footage. Their faces were not clear, but after some time they started to seem recognizable. I still was not sure that I could identify any of them if I would meet any of the two on the street, but at least in this security footage, it seems I could identify them from the others. The one was blonde, and another had a darker hair and was taller. A taller one looked to be a little more of a leader in their couple. At least, it subconsciously seemed to be so from their body language. What I thought about was whether they always use hidden cameras to watch how employees work at the office. It is one thing to watch for thieves in the supermarkets and another – to control every manager in the corporate building. And my second thought was about what the girls were doing.
And what Martin actually asked me was – What do you think they are doing? Do you see something except usual things? What I saw was that they were talking, passing to each other some papers. Sometimes the one could cast a short glance at the other. I didn’t see anything except usual things. That is probably what any two do to each other when they are familiar, and they share working space. I am not telepathic or something. So, I hardly can declare something sure looking at some people exchanging glances as part of some plot-free silent BW movie. In a silent movie with Chaplin, they at least show the words on a black screen to make a viewer know what the hell is going on. And at least in a typical silent movie, there are some jokes like someone falling after stepping on a banana skin. I saw nothing exceptional or specific, and I was puzzled about where Martin took this footage from. And what purpose he followed with this I didn’t know. Can it help to make some documentary film? Maybe that will be the first ever black-and-white silent documentary. And then it may make a revolution on the next Cannes film festival. I suppose critics will piss with the boiled liquid out of pure excitement.
And finally, after a couple of hours in which we tried to see something in this footage, Martin informed me that he made an appointment for an interview and if I don’t mind, he would like me to be present on the spot at the day. I did not mind, and so I will meet the interviewee too, in a couple of days from now.
And now I am going to sleep, so – end of a line.
Nov, 5. Susan’s Interview One. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin and Elise
Martin: What we are going to talk about is an extraordinary case. We talked about it with you on the phone yesterday. And as you remarked yourself, it is not easy to believe that all of this is quite true. And now as you agreed to talk to me not concealing any facts, I’m going to ask you once more the same question as yesterday. Are you really ready to talk about all of this?
Susan: Yes. I’m ready… Absolutely.
M.: As I told you before, if there are any reasons for it, for example, if you are afraid that someone may use this information against you somehow or if there is any personal threat to you or to someone who has a relation to you, you may decide to tell not everything. But in this case, we just need to set the limits of our talks.
S.: Well… No. I don’t think there is something… threatening. I don’t think there is something to hide from people. Absolutely so. And I didn’t commit any sort of crime in my life. I suppose… I think that if anybody on any TV show would ask me, I am ready to tell the entire story. All the true. I mean I would tell it to any open media source without any problems.
M.: Sure?
S.: It’s OK. You may just ask.
M.: And one more thing. I asked my friend to support me in this interview. Her name is Elise. What I mean, she may add some additional focus for things. Don’t you mind this?
Elise: So? Can I stay, Susan?
S.: Sure. And you may call me Sue.
M.: Then, let’s begin. First things first. And what I’m going to ask you, in the beginning, is – when and how did it all start?
S.: You mean… When did it begin?
M.: Exactly. I mean, when it was that moment when you might say you felt your life began to change. Just tell the first line of the story.
S.: Well. It all began as I suppose… when Jane appeared. When Jane appeared in my life and at our office.
M.: And who is Jane?
S.: Jane is a girl who worked with me. She is not from our town. As I know, she lived in the other city. She worked for our company for some years, and when she moved from her hometown, she got a place in our city.
M.: Can you describe her? What was she like? Tell us something about her personality.
S.: Jane – If I would try to describe her in a single word – I think I would just spell her name. Jane [soft laughter]. Well, when I saw her for the first time, my only thought was that she is a pretty woman. Maybe it is better to say that she is almost striking… beautiful. No. She is. Striking beauty. Jane is a little taller than me. And she has red hair. And she is very good-looking.
M.: What were your relations when she just appeared at your office?
S.: From the very beginning, we did well. And after a week I would say we made friends. Yes, I think we were friends on a second week after we met. We were doing some similar stuff at the office. And after the first week, uh, we always spent coffee breaks together. We mostly were chatting about different things. I found out that Jane was not only good-looking but also a lovely, smart, and well-humored person. She was a fantastic company. She was fun.
S.: And then, one day, she told me some story. I could believe it or not. As I wish. She said it was my choice to believe it or not because a story was, no matter, an interesting one. Just she kinda tells me I better do not tell it some other people, at least as a true story. She tells me that there is some funny, unusual work she has on the side. There is some Agency that does not advertise its services too much. It is some kind of private entertainment company – a nice little company. And it helps people to diversify, to widen one’s sexual life. But actually, it is nothing like an escort agency. It is just different.
M.: But then, what did the Agency offer to customers?
S.: It offered some different things. It offered some sort of private entertainment. It was not necessary for someone from the Agency to make love to customer… That could be different. Me, I am not that conscious about prostitution. It is quite a regular thing in our society. Just me, myself, I am not sure I can do it for money. Of course, I like sex like anybody else, but it is a bit different [laughter]. But I don’t have anything against the sex workers. Sure. As Jane told me, the difference is that they try to give an adventure to a person. Some kind of sexy adventure, if you want. The major principle is that they organize it all only when they know well enough what the person really wants. Yes. That’s the thing. But the scenario should be somehow unexpected for her or for him. And yes, there is a scenario. It is an important part of it. I mean how they do it. There is the scenario, and it is prepared according to this person’s unrealized desires.
E.: So, do I understand it correctly? There is some kind of stage show?
S.: Well, no. It is not like a stage show. Maybe in something. A person is involved in some story, adventure. And the Agency makes this person feel good in the way.
M.: Person? – You mean a customer?
S.: No. Actually, not. This person is almost never the customer. I mean it is not the one placing the order. Services… are ordered by someone who knows this person well, who is close to him or her somehow. This one helps us to know about a person. In some exceptional cases this person – the Lead Hero…
M.: Lead Hero?
S.: That is how this person is called. The Lead Hero. It is just another specific term to make a long story short. So, this LH is almost never the one who contracts the Agency personally. It is this way only in some rare, exceptional cases. It is possible, but it is not a rule.
M.: All these things, did Jane tell about them all at once?
S.: No. I actually revealed it all after, in process. I mean, she told some general things. I was a bit intrigued by it. I did not know why she told it to me. Of course, she was always able to entertain me with her stories during a break and after hours, when we met in some cafe or at a nightclub.
M.: And what did happen next?
S.: She asked whether I wanted to fill the vacancy in the Agency.
M.: She did it the same day as she told you… the story?
S.: No. She did it after a couple of days. She said there would be nothing tricky, nothing I was not able to do. And she said for the first time I would not need to do something special. And also she said that they would teach me everything I needed to know when indeed there was not a lot of it. And also she said if I didn’t like it, I could quit at any moment. She said I was possibly a good fit for them. I didn’t know what to answer. Usually, if she took me somewhere to do something funny, I would agree immediately, because it is always a nice time with Jane. I mean she knows how to have fun. But in this case, I was not sure. For a couple of days, I was considering her proposition, and then I just decided to see what it was like. I mean, to see the place and what it was. I was not that sure I would agree. Though, Jane was always the most persuasive person. She easily can persuade anybody.
Nov, 5. Evening. Private Audio Diary of Elise. by Elise
When Martin said that there would be an interview this evening, I did not know who would be our guest. I only knew that her name was Susan. Martin asked me whether I could stay for one more hour at the studio. We supposed to record an interview with someone. When this someone arrived, I had a feeling that I probably saw her somewhere before. And then I understood that it was that blonde girl from a strange videotape. I mean… there was nothing strange about the videotape, but it was strange that the footage seemed so useless. I thought maybe then I would be able to understand at least a little what it all was about. And then when I saw a girl, at least I knew her looks clearly. But that isn’t much. I was actually unprepared for an interview. She entered the door and at first exposed some little indecisiveness when interrupting her way through the room. Then she laughed and tried to look really self-assured and made a few quick motions approaching a stool. As she was sitting there… At the first moment that made me think that she was probably infantile, maybe a little infantile, but not too much. Though maybe it was her looks that made me feel so. She is not very tall, and her face is a little childish you may say.
As I wasn’t prepared to take an active part in the interview, I thought maybe Martin would like me to be present just to have some kind of witness. Or something. Maybe he needed to have someone else there in the room to break a possible intimacy. I mean… to be not tet-а-tet with this girl. And most probably these both reasons applied for my presence. An interview isn’t anything like a date. So, when you happen to talk with a young blonde girl who likes to talk about sex, there should be some additional requirements. At least there should be someone else present. Better a woman. Despite the fact that I still can’t clearly understand what fun it can be in this matter for me, I became curious about some of the things. As Martin sometimes uses to say – and I would quote him not because he is a great philosopher, but only because this time the phrase really fits in – journalism is probably a kind of illness. On my side, I would add that it is an illness of brain and sometimes a strange one. And first of all, I became interested in what we will reveal in the next chapter of the Blondish Tale. Let’s call it that for a while. And also I am curious about what is the degree of stupidity – or probably, smartness – of our leading character. Just to practice my ability to recognize the human qualities. My intuition. Kinda. As Martin said, we will meet her again after a few days. I think I will have a chance to know. And also I remember how Martin asked her whether I could be present. And the blonde doll took a short pause, and her eyes widened a little. And then she permitted it, and she was looking at me in some way. Call me Sue. She said so after a pause still having this gaze. My intuition gave me a hint at the moment. What I think about it now is that the girl is definitely bisexual.
The fifth of November, end of a line.
Description of Video One. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
I interviewed Susan for the first time. Despite the fact that I previously had plans for a couple of projects more, now I felt almost entirely engaged with this one. Let’s tell the world about Susan because Mr. Shadow wants it so much. And who am I? Am I more than an instrument in this matter? I ask myself again and again in recent days. But now I am too much interested in the truth, about the essence of this story. Who? Why? – are the two questions keeping to twist in my mind. And also the plot itself seems to be very intriguing. Quite spicy. In some way.
And then it was time to follow the next line from my personal instructions. And they told me that before interviewing Sue again, it was time to play another video. I got ready and launched a flash drive. Instructions prescribed that I can’t copy files provided to me on my computer and that I should disable any internet connection before watching them, in case I watch them on a device able for a web connection.
What did I see in this video? I don’t know. I mean I am not really able to tell precisely. Video had two parts. In the first one, a location was some apartment. In the beginning, two female figures appeared. I almost immediately supposed it was Sue and Jane. They were dressed differently for sure, but still could be quite recognizable in comparison to the office footage featuring them. They stood with their backs to a camera angle. And the camera was placed somewhere close to the ceiling as it seemed because a point of view was from above. For few instants, they stood rather close to each other and watched through window glass. Then as it seemed by her gesture, Jane asked Susan to come closer. Sue was still standing apart from her. And then she was watching her. Then Sue came closer. And Jane held out her hand and pointed to something across the street probably. Then they kept watching there. And they were talking a little. For a while. Then Jane disappeared from the view and reappeared again having something long and cylindrical in her hand. It was hard to tell what it exactly was, it could be some sort of bat or something else, but as she put a thinner end of it to her face, I understood that it was a spyglass or some sort of portable telescope removed from a tripod. She was looking at the other side of the street. And after a couple of seconds, she gave the tube to Susan. Sue took it slowly like being not sure about it. She cast a flashing glance at the internal side of the room. And then she also began looking through a spyglass at the other side of a street. For at least five minutes they kept watching this way, exchanging their observer instrument with each other. And after that, Susan looked at an internal side of the room for one more time. This time she did it more certainly. Her gaze was longer and was surely directed at some spot. It seemed that Jane somehow provoked it with some words she said because after a while she also looked in this direction. And only then I noticed that.
There was something else inside the room. And this something was hidden inside the dark spot of the shadow. And the angle of the camera also hid it as the camera was more focused on another side of room’s space. I tried to identify what it was. And it is more correct to say – who it was. All I could see. As it seemed to me… This video footage isn’t clear that much, I say again. Well, it was two legs. Appearing from the dark. Someone was sitting in the corner. And that was a woman as I supposed looking at forms of her legs and design of shoes on them. It was difficult to identify anything even about her shoes, but at least they seemed to be a female pair of shoes. With that little to be seen, this figure looked mysterious, powerful and challenging. What was her part in it? Was she the Lead Hero? How could I tell about it when I even didn’t know what was going on?! When you don’t know the play, you can’t say what role one of the actors has in it. Do I tell something that looks to be so evident? Next thing that happened was that Jane came closer to a mysterious figure comfortably sitting in the dark. At this moment Susan moved aside in the frame. And then she stood leaning against the wall in the right part of a picture. It was her figure that was visible clearly enough then, but not her face. But from her pose, as she touched the wall with the palms of her hands and bent her legs slowly moving down in softly sliding motion, that all looked rather sexy, even in the sight of the uncertain picture.
Then Jane gave a spyglass to a dark figure in the corner, and it looks like the woman used it to look at something that probably was still happening on the other side of the street. Jane sat down on the floor near the armchair in which a dark female figure was sitting. And then for the rest of time in this part of video nothing happened. All three stayed at their places, and as they were all in some distance from the center of the room’s space on which camera was focused, it all looked like some abandoned chess board with the last figures standing in the endgame. That was all in the first half, but there was the second one. And I am not able now to tell what connection is between them.
In this second half, there were two new characters. An episode begins with an image of a girl sitting on a bed in an apartment. She wears jeans, probably, some light unbuttoned jacket and blouse under it. Her hair is falling on her shoulders. She sits keeping her back straight like some good pupil in the class. She sits immovably for some period. Like a frozen sculpture of a good pupil. Then she stands and walks away from the room. After a short period of time she comes back, and as she opens the door and steps through a threshold, another girl appears too. At this moment she holds a hand of this other girl lightly. As it looks, this second girl wears some similar clothes. The only exception is a jacket. The first girl comes back to the bed and places herself on it in the same manner as she did when being alone. She sits with her back straight. At the same time, the second girl makes a couple of steps after door. For an instant, they watch each other in a frame of the frozen picture. Then the second girl makes a couple of confident steps toward the first one and then goes down on her knees. She starts kissing her hands and her neck and at this moment the first girl bends back a little. Then she takes off her jacket and puts it away in rapid motion, and this girl that stands on her knees continues to kiss her neck with her palms placed on a surface of the bed. Then the first girl unbuttons and takes off her blouse. They waste some time to take it off together with her bra. And then the previous image of kissing reappears with a difference that the girl sitting on the bed is topless and active one covers more of her body with her caresses. She mostly concentrates on her partner’s belly, but time after time she rises still standing on her knees and moves up to reach the breasts. And breasts are good… They have nice shapes. And they are a little bigger than an average size of a young girl. Then she stands and makes a couple of short steps back, while another girl still rests on the bed. Half-lying, fixedly watching her partner. They both stared at each other, keeping a short distance.
And the active girl then starts to undress. She takes off everything. Shoes, blouse, jeans, and finally her bra and briefs. She even makes some soft dancing motions like someone trying to repeat after strip-dancer. When she is barely nude, she stands still with her legs a little apart and hands placed on her sides. It looks like she gives an opportunity for the other girl to see her well-shaped body. Fifteen seconds after that, she comes to a girl on the bed making a couple of steps backward. She stands on her knees again and takes her partner’s jeans off together with her underpants. She kisses her legs. At that moment, finally, a passive girl entirely lies on the bed, spreading her hands wide. Then the active one stands and climbs on the bed placing one of her hands on its soft surface. She moves down, now placing her body over the body of her partner and starts kissing and caressing her. She goes a little up and down covering the girl’s neck and the girl’s breasts with her caresses. Then she comes down from the bed, now standing on her knees on the floor again. She looks at the face of a girl holding her legs at the same time. And after some pause, she bends, and her face becomes unseen as she hides it in between her partner’s legs.
At this moment a video interrupts, and there is nothing else. I don’t know how exactly two of its parts are connected. There should be some clue to tell it. I suppose in the second part there is probably nothing that can give any link. I only can tell that, actually, I forgot about one peculiar thing about the second part of the footage. In the room where two girls met there were big picture windows too.
Some Notes on Attractiveness of Voyeurism and Peeping. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
What makes voyeurism so attractive? Maybe it is the feeling of having some power to break barriers that the others don’t want you to break. That may give a person some position that may look to him as a position of some moderate dominance. And possibly, it is not a privilege over those who are watched, but even more over those who would like to watch, but who can’t join the voyeur being not a part of the club.
I don’t know what exactly it can be that makes it so exciting about secret voyeurism for others, because me, myself, I would prefer if someone would know. I would like if someone would willingly perform some sexy trick for me like a striptease or something else, maybe even of a more peculiar nature. I mean, it is really nice when someone wants to please you. But what is it when someone doesn’t? And how can you know for sure that someone would be not offended in a case when it all would be discovered somehow? The thing is that the real voyeurs might be not interested in the evident exhibitionists at all. That is why some analysts may classify voyeurism as some paraphilia.
It is an interesting question. How many people would reject an opportunity for watching someone in some intimate moments, if having the opportunity and knowing there will be no punishment? Modern times evidently provide us with too many reality shows that are too popular to deny the fact that the people like to watch other people doing things. And that may have deep roots. As we know from the legends, particularly from this about Lady Godiva, sometimes even a punishment won’t stop a person from it. Peeping Tom is probably only a fictional character, but it doesn’t matter in the case. People believe that such a person could exist. I mean, that if people believe that a person could cast a glance at the noble women as she rode nude on the horse through the street, even under punishment of death, then it means that the people do believe it is possible for a person to behave in this manner. At least partly. And if it is possible to behave so under strictest punishment, then, of course, many would do it when feeling themselves safe. And also would we like to watch someone noble or no matter whom? Maybe a lot of people would like to watch the celebrities and rich ladies and gentlemen of contemporary in their most intimate moments as they replaced the kings and queens for us. Is it a subconscious desire to destroy their advantage over others and to share their benefits by the gift of secret knowledge? It is difficult to answer these questions.
Actually, before modern reality shows, there was Playboy magazine that was extremely popular in times before the world wide web as it was a unique chance to see photos of pretty women undressed. They were not of a noble origin, but they were good-looking. And the Lady from Coventry also was supposed to be very pretty as she was a wife of a powerful man. Maybe there is something about possession. Her husband had power, he possessed the lives of people in the land and also her beauty. But when she at least, in theory, provided others with a chance to see her nude, she broke her husband’s dominion. She manifested her own right of possession.
So, when we talk about why people like to watch, there is a similar question on another side. Many stars seem to want to be exposed or even involved in a sex scandal as it potentially means more of stardom. People today who want to become stars perceive many such spicy elements as a regular part of celebrity life. The truth is that they also understand many other quite uncomfortable things about stardom like this. In this way, you may say that they want it. Some of them indeed will become stars. That means they will accept it as a part of the contract and on another side may even consider many forms of celebrity exhibitionism desirable. And in this case, poor Tom may be regarded not only as a victim but also as a necessary element or even a sort of lover. It is considered that Cleopatra kept executing her lovers just after a single night of love. But there is no evidence that she had no pleasure those nights. So, maybe if we return to the image of the Lady of Coventry, we may suppose that she should’ve expected that someone would watch no matter. And that is what gives a spice to a situation. Actually, for me personally, Cleopatra and Godiva are two different characters. I would prefer the initial version of the legend. I mean one without Peeping Tom as this character appeared in folklore later and made this story more vulgar. Godiva probably is not a person who wanted to kill someone. She wanted to liberate poor people from the excessive power of her cruel husband. And at the same time, she found a peculiar way to break free from him with the help of her sexual attractiveness. She manifested her sexuality. And it was strong enough to direct the power in the entire city. Regarded this way she could have an own motivation for the ride. Yes, it doesn’t diminish her merit. But still, it means she had it. And it’s interesting that in this case, we can’t say who is watching whom. In some meaning. Lady has still more power than a supposed citizen. So, it looks like good voyeurism is impossible without good exhibitionism. Two sides – voyeur and showman are nothing without each other. Like in any interaction, the pleasure of the other improves the experience.
Maybe the right question about that is not – what is so attractive about the voyeurism? But it is – what is so sexually attractive about the voyeurism? Remember Freud. He once said, at least as it is considered, that culture is repressive to the sexual nature of human beings. And the culture and the civilization probably began as soon as Adam and Eve put on the skins of animals as they were exiled from the Eden. Do we try to reveal more of nature into the others and in ourselves sometimes? Or maybe we are just always searching for the Sacred Garden from which the human race was once exiled?
I don’t know… It looks like today I am not able to say something really worthy. I don’t know why people do it, but what I know for sure is that the people do it. And they do it quite often.
Nov, 7. Susan’s Interview Two. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin and Elise
Martin: We stopped at the moment when you decided, as you called it, to see what the place was. Right?
Susan: Huh… yep.
M.: Now, I would like you to tell me what the next thing in this story was. Did you come to see the place?
S.: Yes, I did. I told Jane I would like to see it and then maybe to decide if possible, of course. I always expected some fun whenever we went to some new place with Jane no matter was it another shop where I never bought a new T-shirt before or another art gallery. Or something. So, a couple of days after she said I could join, I decided I could look at it, at least. And a couple of days later, Jane led me there. After hours we left the building together, and there was a big expensive car waiting for us. We went outside the city, in some suburb area where there were mostly villas and big houses. We stopped in front of a luxurious villa. It was a big and beautiful house. What I thought when I saw it – I didn’t remember that before I ever visited such a house. And that should be very nice to be at the party at such place… Yep… It is luxurious and pretty [soft laughter]. Yes, I think that was exactly what I thought about it. When we were out of the car, we crossed a little garden. There were a little garden and a big pool. Two great things I immediately noticed. Then we directed to the entrance, and Jane told me that I should remember about keeping secrets. Remember we keep secrets carefully here. She said something like this. When I was inside, I felt myself to be a small person. There was too much of space inside. It was something like a two-story foyer. Jane led me to some nice room where there was a sofa, and we sat there. Then she came out and returned with some cocktails. She said we needed to wait until the Head – it’s a ruling person – would arrive. She said it would be soon. And we actually spent some time pleasantly. We were talking the nice talks and drinking the nice cocktails.
During this time I made an acquaintance with one girl who worked there. She was very nice-looking and well-humored. She was not very tall and with a pretty face. Her name was Ann. Jane told me that Ann was a person who worked with clients. She brings papers to sign and all of that. She performs some necessary legal thing. And stuff like this. As Jane said, usually she didn’t perform any role.
M.: What does it mean – a role? Did Jane tell you something about how the Agency worked then?
S.: That was exactly what she explained to me while we were waiting. She explained that the first rule is that it all should be secret, at least for some time, the second rule – she said – that it undoubtedly should be secret [giggle]. She also told me that it isn’t a person involved in the game who places the order for it. The client should be someone familiar with this person and who wants to entertain this person. It’s like making a pretty secret gift, well, something like that.
Elise: Excuse me. I’m going to interrupt you. You said there were cocktails. Did you drink a lot? Do you think there could be something unusual mixed in them?
S.: No… I think they were the usual cocktails.
M.: Go on. You were explaining how the contract is signed. What were the other special features of the Agency?
S.: What was special? Uh… There was a specific system of terms like Lead Hero, Scenario, Players, and other things.
M.: And what does Players mean?
S.: Player means a person who helps to make it all. It is someone from the Agency who entertains the Lead Hero.
M.: So, that Lead Hero is a principal person in all of this?
S.: Yes, it is possible to say so. Lead Hero is our center of attention. It is his pleasure which is the most important.
M.: And Ann? Was she the player?
S.: As I understood, usually she wasn’t, but she could have some minor part sometimes. At least that was what Jane told me.
M.: You were telling about your first day in the Agency. We interrupted you when Ann arrived, and you were drinking cocktails. Go on. Would you tell us what happened then?
S.: Then… Ann, she was not drinking with us. Jane said Ann always stays one hundred percent sober, no matter what. I thought she was joking. While we were waiting, I saw another player, I mean another one besides Jane. I wasn’t sure that she is a player, but then I understood it was so, after some time. She just flashed to me when a door to another room was open for a moment. It was one second, but I saw her. She was gorgeous, a woman – not a girl… And then the Head of the Agency appeared. I was sitting alone on the sofa with a soft drink in my hand. And Jane returned from another part of the house and told me that if I didn’t change my mind she, the mistress, would see me. As I understood then, the leader of the group was a woman too. Well, then Jane showed me where her cabinet was. I opened a door and went in. I was a bit afraid and excited at the same time. It was a room without windows. I think it is an important detail, somehow. I saw her for the first time, at that moment she was sitting at her table, and she was reading something. She was unaware. Like she didn’t notice my presence. She was a tall woman. And she wore some kind of official costume. Behind her, there was a shelf with a lot of folders on it. Another thing I immediately noticed was their logo across the wall. It was a line of big unusual letters. It read Venus Agency. That is, as I understood, their name. For some time it was like she did not know that I existed at all. But then she moved her head and looked at me directly. That glance of her made me feel differently. She had beautiful green eyes. And there was something strict about how she looked. Maybe it was her costume. And also maybe some serious manner in which she behaved. As I remember she was always wearing such things and behaving this way. So, she actually made an impression like a high-class teacher from a very prestigious school. Yeah. You never had a feeling that you knew more than she did. Then we had a little talk, and I actually didn’t get any new information. There was probably nothing that Jane didn’t tell me before. Maybe only it was told more formally. So, it didn’t add new things for that day, but just I got some respect for her. That was the thing she made you feel. No doubt. The respect for her. She had some kind of internal strength, I think. She said there was a new order they had, and they would start working on it next week. And as it was an easy job and it fitted for a newcomer, I could fit in if I wanted. And then I could decide whether I would like to work with them more permanently as she explained. And also one more time she asked me no matter what to keep it secret. She said it had to be all kept an absolute secret at least for a couple of months. It is the interest of their clients, and that is very important. In this way.
M.: And what was your answer? Did you agree?
S.: I agreed, but it took another couple of days to do so. She gave me her phone number and told me at what hours I could call. And so I telephoned her. And I said I was ready to start. It was a special moment in my life, I suppose. I was a bit worried. But also excited, again. That day I talked to Jane about it. And she relaxed me.
M.: Did you feel you could trust her?
S.: Yes, sure. She is a lovely person.
M.: Did you feel it like you could confess any of your secrets to her? Was it that much?
S.: Well, I think it was. She is the best friend I ever had. She is the one you can trust.
E.: And then?
M.: Did you and Jane come somewhere to visit the client or probably a Lead Hero as you call it?
S.: No, we did not. I mean not that time. That time we came to the house again. To this luxurious mansion which was the Venus Agency’s home place. I adored their residence again as I remember. And as I was more relaxed that time, I just enjoyed its rooms and interiors. We just came here to discuss how it all would be. We, those who were supposed to take part, were told what to do and when. I was also briefed about simplest terms of their activities, despite the fact that Jane had already explained all that stuff to me. In this game [laughter] – it was the first one for me, and they call it the game – my role according to the scenario was simple. In general, I had to be present and… I just was needed to make a proper group. So, as there was nothing so complicated, I relaxed a bit, but not too much as I still couldn’t imagine how it would be. I actually could imagine it as they explained to me what we were going to do. But I mean… I could not feel it, you know. I suppose one can’t feel it before it happens. That’s for sure. So, as I got it. What we did there in the mansion was some sort of rehearsal.
M.: Rehearsal? You mean you staged it? And what did you rehearse?
S.: It was – as I told before – what we should’ve done then, when we would be there, at the place. They actually call the place a ground. It’s another term. There were five of us at the mansion that time. That included me, Jane, Ann, a girl whose name was Sally, and Jess. Jess is the name of the head girl. I didn’t tell you her name before. Jess acted as the Lead Hero. She took the place of this person, I mean.
M.: And did you know who would be the Lead Hero in that case?
S.: No, I didn’t. I was told it was a secret and no one but Jess knew about it.
M.: Do I understand it right? Jess was not supposed to participate on the spot when it would be done… for real?
S.: Yes, it was this way. She just impersonated the LH. And others were learning their roles. It was interesting that Ann was supposed to take part.
M.: Would you tell us about what happened when you actually met the Lead Hero?
S.: It was the next day. We, I mean myself and Jane, arrived at some private apartment. It was a good one and placed in a prestigious area of the city. And in the first moments, I was a bit afraid that there was no one here. Maybe I felt myself like a burglar. But then I’ve noticed.
M.: What was it you noticed?
S.: There was another person, another one besides Jane and me. I think it was a woman. I only could judge by her legs.
E.: What do you mean only by legs?
S.: All I saw of her were her legs. She was sitting in the dark corner of the room, being deep in the darkness and all I could see were her legs and a little of her silhouette, but it was very uncertain. Only her legs came from the dark seen clearly. And I suppose so because of shapes and shoes. I am sure it was a woman though.
M.: You say it was a woman? Go on. What was the next thing you were doing?
S.: The next thing was that Jane came out to another room and then after a few moments returned with a telescopic tube. She gave it to me and asked me whether I would like to watch what happened outside. She asked me whether I thought there could be something interesting somewhere in this area of the city. She said that there was possibly something interesting very close to us, but we didn’t know. Maybe it is just across the street. And with these words, she gave me the tube. I took it and looked through it across the street. At first, I pretended that I was searching freely for something I didn’t know what. Then I looked straight at the windows of the building which stood right across the street. And there I saw Ann sitting on the bed in a room where the windows were as big as in apartment where we were. I then gave a tube back to Jane. And I was kinda telling her. Yes, there is something interesting, indeed. That was kinda signal. That meant that I saw Ann and that she was ready. Then Jane started watching through the tube. And then she asked. Do you want to know what happens now? But she said it not to me. She said it to this woman in the dark. And then she also added. It is interesting, indeed. Then the woman who sat in a chair found a voice. It was surprising to me. Almost like I thought she was mute. She just said. Tell me. That was all she said. And then Jane began to describe her the things she saw. Things that were happening on the other side of the street. And at that time Sally also appeared in a room in this building that stood against the building where we were. She joined Ann, and they began to do things planned, as we rehearsed it.
E.: And what was that?
S.: They caressed each other… They made love… in general.
M.: And Jane was telling you about it?
S.: Yes, she was describing everything they did. As Sally was kissing Ann and what spots… She told us about how they undressed each other and other things [giggle]. And then she gave the woman a tube, and she was watching girls for the rest of time. As Jane did so, she sat down on the floor. Close to her. I am not sure, but to me, it seemed like her hand went down her belly and she was… something like caressing herself. I am not sure, but it seemed so. I suppose… When we began this thing, I was a little uncertain, but as it progressed I felt more relaxed. And finally, I actually felt quite excited.
Nov, 7. Evening. Private Audio Diary of Elise. by Elise
It was a weird thing. The second interview with Sue… with Susan was even stranger than the first one. The girl was even more talkative this time. She told us a story that is indeed unusual one. And again I ask myself why Martin decided to have me near when making such an interview. This time I really became a witness of some intimate story. And it is true that if Martin listened to this alone, he would be in a complicated position. Or maybe he would be in a position from Kama Sutra? Uh… And in this case, it is also a complicated position for a journalist if to talk about ethics of the profession. If any ethics of journalism had ever existed in the real world, of course, but not only in some knightly codex that some professors should compose with the help of students in some universities. Ooff. That was something that I didn’t expect to happen. It was like working on TV for one of the shows devoted to sex, like being an assistant for another reality.
Again… she readily told us about her adventures. But this time they were more interesting or just more peculiar. It is remarkable that she told us about what was exciting for her in this affair. As I know, this interview wasn’t the last one with the girl. And I expect even more of her unusual tales to come. I expect she won’t come when telling us it all. I hope so. After we finished with an interview, Martin told me that he had something to say and to show me. He said he had some records confirming what the girl had told us. He said that I should keep it all in secret until we release the documentary film about these events. He also said that if I wanted to watch the videos, he would let me, but he wouldn’t let me copy it because it was a part of an agreement between him and the person who provided this evidence to him. That video, as I understood in brief, is something like surveillance footage. Close in style. Actually, I am not the person who will tell the others something that will make everybody think I am crazy and kinky. And what about that video… I’ll probably watch it if there will be a need for it, but not this time.
Now I am going to sleep and hope I will have normal dreams tonight. End of line.
Terminology Description Provided to Susan. Paper Document. from Archive of Martin
The AGENCY – is a group of people collaborating under principles described in the code of the Agency called in short the Code. The main aim of the group is a high-class luxury level entertainment that is provided on the terms of an agreement between the Agency and the client. Structure of the Agency is one-leveled in its hierarchy except for the Head who is chosen by the other members including the players and the other persons of general assistance. Head is one who bears more responsibility for organization and activities of the Agency.
The CODE – is a collection of principles that are primal rules for all activities of the Agency. The Code defines the mission of the Agency. Major principles are: (a) absolute secrecy of activities, (b) joy of the Lead Hero as the most important aim of any actions executed in the complex, (c) the absolute physical and informational safety for any participant on both sides, (d) prohibition of any methods requiring a crime or any law-breaking, the actions that lead to any health damage or any financial damage or any other kind of damage to the group or a person, (e) others.
The TECHNOLOGY – is a full complex of all methods and skills that can be used by the Agency in the process of its activity.
The CLIENT – is a person who places the order for entertaining the Lead Hero. This person provides an insight including information which client will decide possible to provide and which is essential for an understanding the Lead Hero’s map of preferences, the Lead Hero’s map of sexual desires and similar. By doing so, the client takes responsibility for providing this information which may appear to be personal for the Lead Hero.
The LEAD HERO – is a person who is familiar to the client and who is a major object for complex of actions. He is led through the events that are part of the complex and according to an approved scenario. It is important that the Lead Hero has no information on what will happen to him, but all, what will happen, is to be designed for his pleasure. No harm and no damage should be introduced to the Lead Hero during the actions. And thus, it is the responsibility of client and people of the Agency.
The PLAYER / ACTOR / ACTRESS – is a person involved in performing a role which includes doings to please the Lead Hero.
The GAME – is complex of approved events performed according to the scenario, happening as a result of the single order.
The SCENARIO – is an order for the appearance of the events that are contents of the complex of the actions. The scenario aims to define the events in a certain way. That is to please the Lead Hero on the maximum level. The scenario is created on the basis of sexual preferences map and on the basis of understanding person’s RFR and PFR.
The COMPLEX OF ACTIONS – is a sum of all events and doings by players/actors of the Agency during the realization of the scenario.
The ROLE – is a personal position in the complex of the actions for a specific player of the Agency in a current of realization of the approved scenario.
The INSIGHT – is a complex of information provided to the Agency by the client on the terms of full accordance between the client and the Agency and on the terms of assistance from the client to the Agency. Insight is crucial for creating the sexual preferences map of the Lead Hero. Insight may include oral descriptions received from the client, sources of digital media, photographs, and paper (including books, magazines and other) sources relating to preferences of the Lead Hero. Insight is used only for the aims of SPM and is not used for any other purposes. Agency does not store the insight after terminating the current complex of actions. Nothing of the insight can be provided to any third side. Complete terms for using the insight are described in the particular part of the Code devoted to this matter.
The SEXUAL PREFERENCES MAP / SPM – is a complex of personal preferences of the Lead Hero that defines what methods and actions can contribute to achieving the major aim. SPM is formed on the basis of insight and the understanding general human behavior and psychology. SPM determines the scenario and the complex of the actions. SPM includes the desire objects, the desire actions, and the desire places together with other elements.
The DESIRE OBJECT – is an image of a person who is sexually attractive for the Lead Hero. It may represent a personalized object from his or her supposed sexual fantasies.
The DESIRE ACTION – is action desired by the Lead Hero as one of the best possible ways of achieving the pleasure.
The DESIRE PLACE – is a place which is supposed to be one of the best places for reaching the pleasure.
The REALITY RATE / RFR / REALITY-FANTASY ADJUSTMENT LEVEL – is a level defined as the proportion of person’s possible actions in reality in conditions of absolute availability to the person’s actions in fantasy. RFR is defined in the range from zero to one (or in the range from 0% to 100%). That means that if the person’s RFR is zero, he or she would like to do nothing from his or her fantasies despite having such fantasies. And another way he or she would like to do everything from his or her fantasies if his or her rate is defined as 1 (or 100%). Right determination of person’s RFR helps to adjust his or her fantasies to what he or she would like to do in reality.
The POSSIBILITY RATE / PFR / POSSIBILITY-FANTASY ADJUSTMENT LEVEL – is a level defined as the proportion of the volume of what is possible to perform regarding the sources available to the Agency to all the actions desired by the person in his or her fantasies. PFR is defined in the range from zero to one (or in the range from 0% to 100%).
The FULL REALITY RATE / FRFR / PRFR – is a mathematical result gained as multiplication of RFR and PFR or proportion of what is possible and wanted by a person in reality to what is wanted by a person in fantasies. Rate is defined from 0 to 1 (or 0% to 100%).
The COMPENSATION RATE / CR (FRFR) – is an inverse number to FRFR. It determines what actions value should be added to deliver the full pleasure achievement.
The FULL PLEASURE ACHIEVEMENT LEVEL / FPAL – is a mark defined as a level in which the person is satisfied with the actions and elements of the scenario. Each element of the scenario depending on its specifics, a perception of the person and the position in time contributes its marginal value to the pleasure achieving. A scenario is balanced when FPAL is close to 100%.
The PLEASURE – feeling of absolute joy, happiness, and general emotional elevation together with the extensive production of endorphins in an organism.
Nov, 7. Evening. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
Today we had one more interview with Susan. This one was bigger than the previous. And information appeared to be even more specific than before. The girl told us that they engaged some other person in the act of voyeurism and by this, she explained a connection between two parts of the video I watched before doing an interview. She also told us that all of this was rehearsed. I just unfolded another envelope with more of secret files in it. And there I found a video file that possibly proves this fact. Girls in this video do the same things as in previous one, but it happens in another place, and there is a tall dark-haired woman instead of the woman in the dark. And also they do the same things, repeating acts many times, memorizing. As they do it all, the dark-haired woman, who I suppose is the head girl, about whom Susan told us, directs their actions. At least it looks so. It is hard to say exactly what they do as there is no audio track attached to the footage and you can’t hear what they are talking about. But I think she directs them. She looks to be very sure and a bit bossy with all these motions she makes. She has some manner. She is pointing to something, sometimes. She’s telling them what to do as it looks. I mean she looks like a leader. Also except new video files, I entertained myself with a description of some terms about which Susan told us. These are the terms they use in the Agency in the process of work. That is a particular science slang, I should admit. That was especially funny to learn about these rates – RFR, RFRF and others like these. And also I finally learned what the pleasure is. That is very useful to know. … Absolute joy … emotional elevation … production of endorphins. The government says we need to increase high-tech production in next years and that is one of the priorities for the nation. But it looks like they don’t know anything about the increase of endorphins production. And it isn’t listed among what they think to be the national priorities.
When the interview was over, I asked Elise whether she would like to stay to see some additional material connected to the facts we investigated. She said she needed to go home. I don’t blame her because we stayed some couple hours after hours. I just asked in case. We agreed with Susan on our next interview. It will take place as soon as tomorrow. She told me that her story was still a long one to tell. I am not surprised about this as I know exactly how many unopened envelopes with other people’s secrets I have. It is a long story to tell. So, I’m glad that the girl is so friendly with us and she is ready to give us as many interviews as we will ask from her. I wonder about her enthusiasm. Does she feel herself a little like in a TV show? Does she feel it can give her the fifteen seconds of fame? There is a very known and battered idea. It says that everyone thinks he has a story worth to write a book about, worth to make a film. And she probably thinks that her story is a special one. More fantastic than the stories of others. Actually, it is possible that the girl is right. No matter whether it is a truth or a tale.
Nov, 8. Susan’s Interview Three. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin and Elise
Martin: After you were allowed to participate as a player – if I call it right – in the Agency’s activities for the first time, how soon it was you returned there?
Susan: That was quite soon, in a couple of days. After that, we were often at the place.
M.: We?
S.: I mean Jane and me.
M.: Oh, yes, of course. Please, continue. You went there a couple of days later and then… did you start to prepare for the next thing? I mean, a next game.
S.: In some way. But actually, no. We were learning. True. It was more about having fun for me. It was like some pretty cool leisure. I was mentally relaxing after a dull work I am doing.
M.: But when your next time came? Was there any next time?
S.: Yes, there was. It was in a little more than a week.
M.: But in this week you visited the Agency’s house several times?
S.: Yes, at least three times. I think.
M.: But what were you doing if you were not preparing for the… next thing?
S.: We prepared for the next thing too. But more it was – I would say… Actually, I was spending my time in a great company. And I’ve learned a lot of useful things there.
M.: Things? Sex things?
S.: Yes, mostly about sex. It changed my understanding of the matter really seriously. Jess read us a couple of interesting lectures, and I learned some practical things too.
M.: You mean it was like some school?
S.: Someway. Kinda. It was the academy to me. I would call it the Academy of the Venus [giggle]. In general, you know, Jess was indeed like some teacher. She told us about the history of eroticism in art… And about human perception of it through the centuries in general. She also told us about concepts of sex in different historical and ethnic cultures and some other very interesting things. Gosh, she is very smart. She is. Yeah.
M.: Can you tell us about the technology used by the Agency? What about all these terms and these rates? I mean, reality-fantasy and others alike. Seems quite weird.
S.: You know?!
M.: Yes, I have a paper, this one. I received it from the same source that told me about you. Don’t ask me who it is, because it is a secret, but I just have this paper, and I was told I had to talk to you.
S.: Oh, really?!
M.: And… what about these terms and rates?
S.: Yes. Jess explained us it all. When I first saw it, I was a bit puzzled. But Jess is one who knows how to explain everything in a few words. Well, reality-fantasy rate and possibility-fantasy rate, that means… that means that we should estimate how much it is possible. What we can afford from person’s wish list. You need to know what the person dreams about. And if we can’t do it all, we should try to compensate it with something. Maybe to do something that has… a value to it. An example can be when a person dreams of making love with elves…
E.: With Elves?
S.: Yeah. But we can’t give it, kinda. But maybe we can arrange that this person will have a sexy adventure featuring someone dressed as elf or we should propose something that will do well to a person who as we know have fantasies about elves. I mean that we kinda know what this person’s fantasies are. We should use it to please a person, adequately estimating our sources, our possibilities. Jess says it is all the same, no matter whether it is industrial production, some services or some filmmaking. It is the same in any production. I mean our unlimited wishes and real possibilities. And stuff.
M.: Oh… Got it.
E.: And you said about art. I mean that you learned there about eroticism in art. What was that you learned? I mean at least can you tell us what authors you had discussed?
S.: Authors? Well. There were guys like… Velasquez, Botticelli, Helmut Newton and also this one – forgot the name – Collier. And there were many others.
M.: So, it was the art you discussed in these lessons? If it is possible to call it lessons, of course.
S.: Not only this. We also discussed the types of sexual fantasies. It all was learned by me during the first week. There were other things next week too. And it all was fascinating [giggle]. Fantasies, as Jess told us, are as different and complicated as the people who have them. Every person has some very private set of own fantasies because it is part of her unique individuality. Jess explained to us why it is important to remember about a personal side of the question every time you deal with person’s intimate part of mentality. But no matter, as we should have some practical view about our doings, we should classify people’s fantasies. And then there is still a question of proper choice among classified items when you deal with individual, but not with the mass of people. And also, there are some most common fantasies people enjoy. There are fantasies when one would like to pretend to be a teacher or a student – it is called the school fantasies no matter what kind of school it is, secondary school, college, university or even an imaginary school. If you want an example, it can be a school of sex. Or some kind of the magic academy, it doesn’t matter. There is sports type, and it is when a person would like to have sex with sportsmen or sportswomen or to have it in some athletic or training… way. There are different types of S&M fantasies, of course. And in this case, you should know what a person would like to be – submissive, dominant or both, and what extent. And there are also some physical and emotional aspects of perception. A person may like only some soft spanking or a more hardcore thing. A person may like something hard. Or to be punished more morally than physically. In some cases, a person may even enjoy punishment and humiliation in the presence of someone else. And it is crucial that this third one would be present as it makes humiliation a more real thing. I learned that. It is because, for some people, it is an excellent way to relax and to let another one to do things to her or his body. To receive more pleasure you need to relax as completely as possible and take off your control and your defense. When a person takes off clothes, it is not for sure that the defense is off too. And it also may be a useful thing as some people enjoy to make love with someone whom they feel to be strong and powerful. It is a very animal way. I mean a natural thing. And the other way, a person may like to dominate someone just to feel himself or herself more confident and sure and then more relaxed too. And also, preferences about clothes, costumes may differ. There are many things like this. Many guys like a woman to be dressed in sexy policewoman dress. Others prefer a lot of black latex. S&M is very common type today as I know. In general, Jess said you could make a picture of people’s mass preferences through an understanding of what is typical for porn films today. She said it is even not because porn industry exactly knows what people want. But it is because people’s tastes and demands are defined by porn as they start to watch it in very young years and it affects their secret sexual desires very much. It kinda affects their fantasies.
And one of the most important things I’ve learned about the fantasies is that the person’s reality perception may be different from what he dreams about. Yes… And it’s OK. Some woman may dream about rape, but it doesn’t mean she would really like it in reality. Actually, one can’t really dream about rape, because what one dreams about is a pleasurable and desirable thing. And rape is an unwanted thing. It is some misssterming… It is an issue of terms. Mixture of terms. It is not a rape this woman dreams about, but a specific kind of sexual intercourse. I mean sex in some specific conditions. And it is a wanted one. And there are a lot of such things too. You should adjust the desired to the reality, I mean. And stuff like this.
And also, Jess gave us a separate lecture on the celebrity fantasies. She said it doesn’t matter that the people don’t fantasize about it too much, though they do, of course. And it is not true that they do it very rarely. People don’t fantasize a lot about stars as they feel it is almost impossible to make love to a star, but high status is something that was always of a high sexual attractiveness for any tribe or group of people. She said it is something of nature for people. She explained to us why exactly Freud would agree with her theory, her understanding of it.
M.: And why?
S.: It is because… it is at the core of people’s mentality. It has biological roots. And something. People gathered in tribes like animals gathered in the flocks to have additional opportunities which can be provided by society. And so, someone who is on top of the group is always more desirable. That is why, no matter how much the people have it in mind, they most probably would like it. Stardom is a very sexy thing [giggle]. The problem is that it is not so easy to turn a celebrity fantasy into action.
M.: Well. And that was all that happened that week?
S.: No. I also spent some time in their library on the advice of Jess. They kept there a lot of different sex manuals from ancient ones of China and India to contemporary ones. I read seldom, but I read a couple of books there. Jess told me that the manuals have too many things about anatomy sometimes. And it isn’t about what we dream about, but such things can be useful. It can be useful, I mean if you comprehend it properly. You just should learn not to learn only the technology of it. I mean you should perceive it all rather spontaneously like some kid exploring a new area. It is the best way to do it like a kid. And that was one more new thing to me…
Actually that day I saw a new girl. Her name was Barbara. Barbara was a fantastic beauty. I saw her only couple of times during all those days. She had impressive looks. Heavy breasts and hips that were perfectly rounded. And she seemed quite curvy when her waist was proportionally perfect at the same time. I mean it was quite a slim waist. She was probably a little taller than average woman’s height. She always had some scent of superiority around her. She didn’t talk too much and was mostly introverted. And she wore – as I understood it – luxury clothes only. She was an awesome thing. I felt real envy about her.
And the final thing for me that day at the mansion was a visit to a room of Jess again. She said that she would give me… some kind of homework. Time after time. She got out from her chair and stretched out her hand to a shelf behind her where there were a lot of folders. She started to choose one of them moving her palm over them. I don’t know, maybe this one or maybe that. That was the very interesting case indeed. She was saying. Something like this. And then she picked up some folder accidentally, I think, and gave it to me. She told me I should’ve investigated it. She said exactly this word – investigate. She told me I should’ve read and watched what was in there and properly analyzed it on the basis of what I’ve learned in the Agency and then I was supposed to give her my full report and my opinion on it. As I almost physically felt there had to be something very unusual and she said that it wasn’t an urgent matter, I decided that I would probably open that folder sometime later.
Nov, 8. Evening. Private Audio Diary of Elise. by Elise
That was another interview with Susan. And it was kinky. Again. I would say the girl told us about some of her sexual education if in this case, I can call it this. Some people are proud of their university education if they went to something like Yale, Cambridge or Oxford. This time it seems we found a blonde who is proud of something much more specific. Maybe I am just exaggerating it all. Yes, I most probably do. A little. But the girl is really thinking she is telling us a wonderful story. Interesting one. It is an unusual story if only at least half of it is true. Otherwise, it is usual unusual lies. The most interesting – at least to me, because I wouldn’t say for Martin – was that the girl possessed some knowledge about fine art. And it is even more interesting that she possessed this knowledge thanks to this extravagant Agency. Gosh! Before, I knew about Velasquez and that he painted a nude Venus who looks in the mirror and her hip is sexily attacking viewer’s attention, but I didn’t know who Collier is. I didn’t tell it to anybody. I exactly mean those two who were in the studio’s room except me. It’s not a big shame. When I was at home, and when I ate enough, I was still hiding my secret little shame. Just for me, it looks like a shame to know less than some talkative sex-addicted blonde who likes to show off. And then I launched my computer to open Wikipedia to reveal who this Collier was. And John Collier was an outstanding Pre-Raphaelite artist who painted some fine portraits. He actually created pictures featuring nude beauties like Lady Godiva. As I saw the artwork, I was almost astonished. I even have a feeling that I would like to visit Herbert Art gallery where this picture should hang. Just to see it. There is a very fine delicate girl who is nude and sits on a horse. She looks very fragile, and that isn’t how you would imagine the past masters to paint the noblewoman of early middle ages. At least, I finally learned something new about beautiful things with a little help of this blonde girl, despite the fact that most of what she brings to the seashore of my mind is like some garbage that needlessly floated from far away. I will try to think more about the Lady Godiva and Pre-Raphaelites, but not about things I am irritated about. Relax Elise, honey. Wish I have a good night’s sleep.
End of line.
Some Notes on Sexual Attractiveness of Tennis Players. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
It is a lovely, but also specific question – why do tennis players seem to be so incredibly attractive to so many people of the western civilization? In a wide range of sportswomen, tennis players are the patented sexual objects. And magazines like Playboy are fighting to get the famous WTA person to their covers. And they succeed in this complicated matter only in rare cases. A possible reason for this is that the contemporary pro tennis players are so famous and so wealthy that Playboy hardly can add anything of worth to this richness and stardom. To make some real tennis pro pose for a men’s magazine, one should have some great luck with it. It is undoubtedly easier to undress some pro photo model of highest level than some tennis woman of the same ranking. Models accept it as a part of their profession. But why tennis? If I would mentally go through the top beauty list of those who play shielded under the Women Tennis Association, I would not find more of pretty women than there are in other competitions. The fact of course, that there are some impressive items on this list. And maybe I don’t know everybody.
There are other kinds of sports that, as it looks to me, definitely have a higher concentration of beauties, in percentage terms. Of course, my TV sports viewer experience doesn’t make me the leading expert in any sports statistics. But it is also true that like many other people who have some at least limited interest in sporting competitions, I notice pretty girls, their athletic efforts, and their fitting uniforms. And so, my very private opinion is that the tennis isn’t the number one sport by the concentration of beauties. I would prefer to give this position to a free gymnastics. Maybe what makes them less attractive is that they often wear quite similar uniforms and a heavy makeup together with the fact that they don’t win those million prizes as tennis players do. But talking about looks only, that seems to be quite evident to me that the world of free gymnastics is full of small, pretty and plastic young women.
There is also such a kind of sporting activity as figure skating. Probably there are as many beauties as in free gymnastics. And there are still more of pretty girls than in tennis if we talk about percentages and concentrations. These two sports should be very close to the maximum level as I suppose. Can a tennis player go to the site of competition dressed in policewoman costume decorated with a lot of rhinestones? And a figure skater can. In a matter of costumes, figure skating represents the leader of attractiveness. When of course, it is for sure that the tennis uniforms are one of the advantages for the WTA girls. But no matter figure skaters seem to be not less attractive. And again there is maybe a fact of their lower earnings. Actually, in addition to a list of beautiful sports, I would add snowboarding. And when tennis girls are advantageous with their clothes, then snowboarders are not so. They actually wear masks. Their goggles hide half of the face. And their equipment hides entire figure. That is the case when uniforms are not fitting, and you don’t know how good-looking a girl is. But if regarded in a more casual suit, some of the snowboard women are very attractive. And they are indeed very flexible same way as girls in gymnastics and figure skating. I think movements in snowboarding may be very close to those in some dance. Actually, I suppose that it all may be connected to the estrogen levels somehow. What I mean is that the estrogen makes women more good-looking. It makes their features smoother. Sure, coaches don’t select for prettier girls. They need results, but not looks. But some sports require more of flexibility, and others require more of strength. Strength is stimulated by the testosterone that is opposite to the estrogen. And flexibility is another quality that depends on the estrogen. That is why good looks together with a general female attractiveness go well with flexibility. For instance, pro dancers were always attractive in this way. But again, these sports with flexible women are less lucky on the side of incomes if compared to the WTA stars, I would repeat it. But is it only money? When playing tennis like a pro, a woman may earn as much as a man which is a rare, if not a unique case in the world sports. And the popularity of female competition isn’t lower than this of men’s tour.
But still, when we talk about tennis, some things may look as downsides. If we talk about its sexuality. It is considered that the men adore female players to scream that loud. But I would say that not all of the men do. And an example is me. Usually, it isn’t very feminine. I believe it is a rather rude and maybe even a stupid association of this screaming with sounds that a woman releases during sexual intercourse. And in this way that is subconsciously – more correct to say almost subconsciously – linked to the success in the intimate part of life. If a woman screams this way when you do that kind of thing to her, then you are a great lover. That should be a logic. But I still don’t think it is as attractive as it may be rude. I may like a woman to be loud in the process. But I hardly would like her to be that loud. Imagine someone screaming right to your ear a hundred decibels Oh-Yes scream. A result of few such orgasms may be some stage of deafness. You will be lucky to have your ears sound. I believe it is a very fine thing when a woman breathes out. Softly. Or some very delicate whispering sounds of ecstasy. It is only my own taste, but no matter I just can’t get why those loud tennis screams are so great to others. Maybe there is some animal side in it. I mean there someone may see a force of an animal. Human females don’t behave like this at any other place, but tennis court. And sport is something like a very civilized fight of human animals. All that physical tension and toughness. Male and female species are fighting to prove their superiority in rights of prolonging their genetic lines. Would Freud agree with this? Actually, he didn’t know about genetics in a modern way, but he knew the rest of it. And even without knowledge of genetics, an entire thing stays to be the same.